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Reduce Stress in 7 Days: A Simple Plan for a Calmer Mind

Reduce Stress in 7 Days: A Simple Plan for a Calmer Mind

If the idea of self-care feels overwhelming, and you’re just trying to reduce stress, I want you to know you’re not alone. So many of my clients tell me they struggle to prioritise themselves.

Life gets busy, stress builds up, and before you know it, you’ve fallen into survival mode, just getting through the day rather than truly living it.

Simple Ways to Reduce Stress Without Overwhelm

And when we finally decide it’s time to start looking after ourselves, it can feel like a huge task. Suddenly, it seems like we need a perfect morning routine, daily journaling, meditation, and an hour of exercise just to feel like we’re doing it right. But that kind of all-or-nothing thinking can be the very thing that stops us from even starting.

Instead of trying to change everything at once, let’s keep it simple.

Seven small steps, one per day, to help you build habits that support your mental health. They don’t take much time, they don’t need any special tools, and they can all be adapted to fit your life.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, disconnected, or like you don’t even know where to start, this is for you.

The 7-Day Plan to Reduce Stress

Day 1: Start with a post-it-note Affirmation

I know that for some people, journaling sounds like a fantastic idea in theory, but in reality, it just feels like another thing to do. So let’s make it easier.

Grab a post-it note. Write down three simple affirmations, things you want to believe about yourself, even if you’re not quite there yet.

Stick it somewhere you’ll see it throughout the day, on your mirror, fridge, or laptop. The words you see regularly start to shape the way you think. This tiny action can start to reduce stress by shifting your mindset over time.

Day 2: Move for Your Mood

One of the biggest things I talk about with my clients is how movement is not just about fitness, it’s about your mental and emotional well-being. And I know that when life is hectic, exercise can feel like a huge task. But it doesn’t have to be.

If you do one thing today, just move. Put on your favourite song and dance around while getting dressed. Stretch for five minutes. Walk while you’re on the phone. Move in a way that feels good, not like a chore.

Your body holds onto stress. When you move, you help it let go.

Day 3: Step Outside and Ground Yourself

Spending time outside is one of the best things you can do for your mental health. Fresh air, natural light, and simply being in nature have been shown to reduce stress and anxiety. But more than that, getting outside gives you a moment to pause.

If you can, take a walk somewhere green, being around trees, water, or open spaces can be deeply grounding.

If you’re feeling anxious or overwhelmed, try this: kick off your shoes and stand on the grass for a moment. Rest your hand against a tree, take a deep breath, and just listenbir, ds, the wind, even the distant hum of life carrying on around you.

These little moments of connection with nature can bring a kind of calm that’s hard to find when we’re caught up in the busyness of daily life.

Day 4: Mindful Skincare to Reduce Stress and Practise Self-Care

Many of the women I support struggle to prioritise themselves. Even the idea of self-care can feel indulgent. But I want to remind you that taking care of yourself is not a luxury, it’s essential.  Introducing a skin-care routine is a great way to care for your skin and reduce stress at the same time.

One of the easiest ways to include self-care in your daily routine is through something you’re already doing, your skincare for example. Instead of rushing through it, slow down. Massage your face as you cleanse. Apply your moisturiser with intention. As you do it, take a deep breath and ask yourself: What went well today?

It’s not about expensive products, it’s about making a daily act of care feel meaningful.

Day 5: Square Breathing for Instant Calm

I’m a big advocate of Square Breathing, a simple but very powerful breathwork technique that can quickly help you feel more grounded. It’s something you can do anywhere, anytime, whenever you feel anxious or overwhelmed.

Here’s how it works:

  • Inhale for 4 counts
  • Hold for 4 counts
  • Exhale for 4 counts
  • Hold for 4 counts

Repeat this cycle a few times, and notice how your body starts to relax. Your breath is always there as an anchor, this is a simple way to use it to your advantage.

Day 6: Journaling Lite (No Pressure, Just One Line)

Journaling doesn’t have to mean sitting down for half an hour and pouring your heart out onto the page. If that works for you, great, but if not, here’s a much easier way to do it.

Each night, write down:

  • One thing you’re grateful for
  • One small intention for tomorrow

That’s it, just two sentences. Over time, this practice can help shift your mindset and bring more awareness to the good things in your life. Want more journaling ideas? I’ve shared a few simple tips in a separate blog you might enjoy

Woman meditating by the sea – to reduce stress and find calm through therapy

Day 7: Sensory Self-Care

When we think of treating ourselves, we often reach for the things that give us a quick dopamine hit, wine, chocolate, scrolling on our phones. But what if you could nurture yourself in a way that actually replenishes you, rather than just distracting you?

Try this:

  • Light a candle and enjoy the scent.
  • Play music that makes you feel calm.
  • Wrap yourself in a cosy blanket.
  • Take a warm bath or a long shower.
  • Spend five minutes just being, without a screen in front of you.

Tuning into your senses in this way helps bring you back into the present moment, and that’s often exactly what we need when life feels overwhelming. Sensory self-care isn’t just soothing, it’s a simple, powerful way to reduce stress and reconnect with yourself.

One Small Step at a Time

That’s it, seven simple, gentle ways to bring more care and calm into your days. No big changes, no pressure to do everything perfectly, just small steps that help you feel more grounded, more present, and more connected to yourself.

Try adding one thing each day for the next week, and see what works for you. Maybe you’ll stick with one, maybe you’ll love them all, but either way, you’re making space for yourself. And that’s something worth celebrating.

If you’ve enjoyed this 7-day reset and want to keep building calm and focus into everyday life, you might like to explore The Clear Forward Tools™. These resources are designed to help you reduce overwhelm, regain clarity, and take steady steps forward when life feels busy or stressful.

They’re especially supportive for people who recognise ADHD traits or struggle with focus, motivation, or emotional overload, but they’re equally useful for anyone wanting a structured, compassionate way to create balance and progress.

Could Your Mindset Be the Missing Piece to Achieving Your Goals?

Could Your Mindset Be the Missing Piece to Achieving Your Goals?

We all start new chapters in life with a sense of motivation and purpose, ready to make changes that matter. But over time, it’s easy to feel stuck or lose focus. Achieving what you want isn’t about willpower, it’s about mindset. Whether you’re working toward career goals, creating balance in family life, or focusing on your own wellbeing, the way you think shapes everything you achieve.

Our mindset is influenced by beliefs we’ve carried since childhood. From an early age, our subconscious absorbs messages and experiences that shape how we view ourselves and the world. For example, if you grew up hearing, “You’re not good at sports,” that belief may linger and make you hesitant to try new things as an adult. The powerful truth is that your brain will believe what you repeatedly tell it.

The good news is that mindset isn’t fixed. By aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions, you can unlock confidence, motivation, and clarity to help you move forward and achieve your goals.

Woman standing by the sea looking thoughtful

What Is Mindset and Why Does It Matter?

Mindset is the set of beliefs and attitudes you hold about yourself and your abilities. These beliefs shape every decision you make and every action you take.

Psychologist Carol Dweck introduced the concepts of a fixed mindset and a growth mindset:

  • Fixed Mindset: Believing abilities are static, which can lead to avoiding challenges and fearing failure.
  • Growth Mindset: Believing abilities can grow with effort, encouraging resilience and learning from setbacks.

For example, imagine starting a new fitness routine. A fixed mindset might say, “I’ll never get fit,” while a growth mindset reframes this as, “I can improve my fitness with consistent effort.”

Your mindset doesn’t just affect your decisions, it also influences the energy you put out into the world.

What Is Vibrational Energy?

All energy vibrates, including your thoughts and feelings. When we project those vibrations into the world, they influence what we attract back. This is often referred to as vibrational energy.

Have you ever met someone who gave off a bad vibe? Maybe they didn’t say much, but their negative energy was palpable. On the other hand, someone confident and positive can light up a room.

Vibrational energy plays a key role in manifestation. Aligning your thoughts, emotions, and actions to your goals, creates a kind of momentum that attracts opportunities and opens doors.

Think about how you feel when you walk into a meeting prepared and confident, people notice that energy, and it helps you connect and leave a positive impression. On the flip side, if you walk in feeling unsure or doubting yourself, it can be harder to engage and get the results you want. The energy you bring into a situation often shapes what you get out of it.

Manifestation: Aligning Your Mindset and Energy

Manifestation is about bringing your goals and dreams to life by aligning your thoughts, feelings, and actions with what you want to achieve. Manifestation is not about “thinking positive” and then sitting back and hoping for the best, it’s about believing in yourself, having a clear vision, and taking steady steps toward making it happen.

For instance, when you truly believe, “I’m capable of success,” you start to make decisions and notice opportunities that align with that belief. After a while, this starts to build momentum, making it easier to move toward your goals.

But we’ve all had moments when self-doubt or fear creeps in, haven’t we? Those thoughts can feel like roadblocks, slowing you down or holding you back. Think of it like tuning a radio, when your energy is focused on gratitude and positivity, you’re more likely to connect with experiences and people that help you succeed.

Manifestation isn’t just about thinking positive; it’s about directing your energy and actions in a way that turns your intentions into reality.

Shifting Your Mindset: Practical Steps

Shifting your mindset doesn’t happen overnight.  The mind responds to repetition, and small consistent steps that build up over time.

These small shifts can make a big difference. Here are some ideas to help you get started:

Awareness

  • Start by noticing the stories you tell yourself. Are they helping you move forward, or are they holding you back? For example, if you often think, “I’m not good enough,” that’s a belief worth challenging.  Journalling regularly can help you spot patterns that need a fresh perspective.

Gratitude Practice

  • Take a moment each day to focus on three things that you are grateful for. It could be something small, like the taste of your morning coffee, a kind word from a colleague, or ticking off a task from your to-do list. Gratitude helps shift your energy from “I don’t have enough” to “There’s so much to appreciate.”

Affirmations

  • Replace those limiting beliefs with more empowering ones by changing the statements or stories you tell yourself.  For  example, when you catch yourself saying, “I’ll never figure this out,” try telling yourself, “I’m learning and improving every day.”  Over time, these small changes in language can help reshape the way you see yourself.

Visualisation

  • Take a few minutes each day to imagine yourself achieving your goals. Picture the details, what it looks like, how you’ll feel, and the pride that comes with it. Let that vision keep you motivated and guide the steps you take.

Inspired Action

  • Big goals can feel overwhelming, so break them into smaller, doable steps. For example, if you’re working toward a promotion, focus on things like updating your CV, completing a course, or seeking feedback from a mentor. Don’t forget to celebrate each milestone, every small win counts.

Meditation and Mindfulness

  • Sometimes, all you need is a few quiet moments to reconnect with yourself. Meditation or mindfulness exercises can help you clear your mind and tune into what really matters. Even five minutes can make a difference.

Your Mindset Shapes Your Success

our mindset and energy play a big role in how you approach goals, respond to challenges, and stay motivated over time. Small shifts in awareness and self-belief can make a meaningful difference to how achievable your goals feel.

If you’d like to explore this further, you may find my ADHD-focused coaching courses helpful. They offer practical tools to support motivation, focus, and follow-through in everyday life, in a way that’s realistic and supportive.

Navigating Anxiety in Relationships: Embracing Growth and Connection

When Anxiety Makes You Overthink Everything in Your Relationship

For some, anxiety stems from past experiences. If you’ve been hurt before, your mind may be on high alert, looking for signs that it could happen again. For others, anxious thoughts may be tied to self-worth, wondering if you’re lovable, if you’re too much, or if your needs are valid.

It’s important to remind yourself that anxiety doesn’t mean something is wrong with you or your relationship. But if it’s causing distress or making it hard to feel secure, there are ways to ease the constant overthinking.

Breaking the Cycle of Overthinking in Relationships

Notice the Thought Spiral

Anxiety often starts with one small worry and quickly snowballs. A short reply from your partner might trigger thoughts like, Are they annoyed with me? Did I do something wrong? What if they’re losing interest? Before you know it, you’re imagining a worst-case scenario that isn’t based on reality.

Recognising when this happens is the first step. Instead of following the spiral, pause and ask yourself: What do I actually know to be true right now? Separating facts from anxious assumptions can help ground you in the present.

Stop Seeking Reassurance on Repeat

It’s natural to want reassurance when you feel uncertain, but if you find yourself constantly asking for it, needing to hear Are we okay? multiple times a day, it may be a sign that anxiety is in control. The comfort you get from reassurance is usually short-lived, and before long, the doubts creep back in.

Try to soothe yourself instead. Remind yourself of the stability in your relationship, reflect on moments of connection, and practise self-validation rather than needing constant external confirmation.

Calm Your Nervous System First

Overthinking is a symptom of anxiety, not the cause. If your body is in a heightened state—tight chest, racing heart, uneasy stomach, your thoughts will follow suit. Before you try to untangle a worry, focus on calming your nervous system. My blog on grounding techniques provides more ways to calm your nervous system.

Some techniques I recommend include:

  • Square Breathing: Breathe in for four seconds, hold your breath for another four, then exhale gently for four seconds before pausing again for four. Repeating this pattern a few times can help steady your breathing and signal to your nervous system that it’s safe to relax.
  • 5-4-3-2-1 Grounding Technique: When anxiety pulls you into overthinking, try this to which will help bring you back to the present.ake a moment to notice your surroundings. Find five things you can see, four things you can touch, three sounds you can hear, two scents in the air, and one taste in your mouth. It’s a great way to break the cycle of anxious thoughts and reconnect with your surroundings.
  • Progressive Muscle Relaxation: Tense your muscles, starting in your feet, and then relax, moving through muscle groups up to your head to release physical tension.
Close-up of a couple connecting holding hands outdoors

Challenge the Anxious Narrative

Anxiety has a habit of convincing you that your worst fears are facts. But just because you think something, doesn’t mean it’s true. If you catch yourself assuming the worst—They’re being quiet, so they must be upset with me—challenge it.  My blog on overthinking provides more information on how to overcome it.

Ask yourself: Is there another explanation? Maybe they’ve had a long day. Maybe they’re preoccupied with their own thoughts. Not everything is about you, and that’s a good thing.

Build Your Own Sense of Security

If you rely on your partner to manage your anxiety, it can create pressure on the relationship. True security comes from within, not from another person constantly proving their love.

Spend time strengthening your own sense of self. Invest in friendships, hobbies, and routines that make you feel good. The more fulfilled and grounded you feel within yourself, the less you’ll rely on external validation to feel okay.

When to Seek Support

If relationship anxiety is affecting your well-being or making it hard to enjoy your connection, it’s okay to reach out for support.

Achieving Your Goals: Embracing the Power of Reflection

Achieving Your Goals: The Role of Reflection

As a Coach, I always encourage clients to pause and reflect on their progress. Whether you’re at the start of a new month or simply taking a moment to check in with yourself, reflection can be a powerful tool for staying on track with your goals.

Often, we begin new challenges with enthusiasm and motivation, but as time goes on, the demands of daily life can make it easy to lose focus. Taking a step back allows you to acknowledge how far you’ve come, realign your focus, and set yourself up for the weeks ahead. Celebrating even the smallest achievements can be a great way to boost your confidence and inspire you to keep moving forward.

If your reflection leaves you feeling like there’s more you could have done, let that be a source of motivation rather than frustration. Instead of dwelling on what hasn’t gone to plan, consider what you can adjust going forward. Were there any specific obstacles that stood in your way? Identifying them can help you create a clearer plan and make the next steps more achievable.

Celebrate the Wins – Big and Small

Take a minute to look back at the previous month, and reflect on what you’ve achieved. Did you stick to a new habit, take the first steps toward achieving your goals, or handle a challenging situation better than you might have before? Even small wins deserve recognition, as they are the building blocks of bigger successes.

To celebrate your progress and stay motivated in achieving your goals, try writing down your achievements in a journal, sharing them with a trusted friend, or treating yourself to something meaningful, a quiet moment of self-care, or even a small reward like a favourite book or meal. Acknowledging these moments boosts your self-esteem and reinforces the positive changes you’re making.

Understanding Self-Concept in Reflection

Reflection isn’t just about evaluating actions; it’s also an opportunity to connect with your self-concept, the way you perceive and define yourself.  Self-concept is made up of three components:

  1. Self-Image: How you see yourself, including physical attributes, personality traits, and roles in life.
  2. Self-Esteem: How much you value yourself and your abilities.
  3. Ideal Self: The person you aspire to be.

By reflecting on these aspects of self-concept, you can gain clarity on how your actions and habits align with the person you want to become. For example, does the way you’ve spent January reflect the goals and values of your ideal self? This awareness can help you make intentional changes to strengthen your self-concept and move closer to your aspirations.

What Have You Learned?

Reflection is also a chance to embrace the lessons of the past few weeks. Ask yourself:

  • What worked well for me this month?
  • What challenges did I face, and how did I respond?
  • Is there anything I’d like to approach differently moving forward?

These questions aren’t about criticism, they’re about curiosity. For example, you might realise that setting aside 10 minutes daily for mindfulness helped you feel more focused and calmer. Or perhaps you noticed that skipping your usual planning time on Sunday evenings made your week more chaotic. Understanding the patterns and choices that shaped January, you can step into February with greater clarity and intention.

Reconnect with Achieving Your Goals

The start of the year is often a time for big resolutions and goals. But now is a good time to check in with yourself:

  • Are your goals still aligned with what matters most to you?
  • Do you need to adjust your expectations or timeline?

Sometimes, we set goals that feel inspiring now but don’t reflect the reality of our lives. That’s okay. Giving yourself permission to adjust or refine your goals is a sign of growth, not failure.

A woman at her desk writing down her goals

Preparing for the Months Ahead

As you continue throughout the year, think about how you want to carry the momentum forward. Consider these steps to stay focused:

  1. Set Micro Goals: Break larger goals into smaller, more manageable steps. Progress is easier to achieve and sustain when it feels within reach.
  2. Revisit Your Priorities: Make sure your daily actions align with what’s most important to you.
  3. Celebrate Progress Along the Way: Build in moments to reflect on and reward your efforts, it keeps you motivated and encouraged.

A Fresh Start Every Month

The beauty of a year is that it offers 12 opportunities to reset and refocus. Whether January unfolded precisely as you’d hoped or brought unexpected challenges, each day, week, and month is a chance to start fresh.

Reflection allows you to move forward with purpose, confidence, and a sense of ownership over your journey, building on the progress you’ve already made or embracing the lessons learned.

Plan Your Next Steps Using Visualisation and Affirmations

As you reflect on the past month, take a moment to look ahead. Visualisation is a highly effective tool for finding focus and igniting motivation. Picture where you’d like to be in the next couple of months. What does your life look like? What habits have you embraced? How do you feel about your progress?

Pair this visualisation with affirmations to strengthen your mindset. For instance, you might say to yourself, “I am capable of achieving my goals,” or “I am becoming the best version of myself, step by step.” These positive reinforcements help align you with your intentions and remind you of your ability to create meaningful change.

I love myself as I am quote handwritten in blue and green

Take a Moment to Reflect

Before you dive into the month ahead, take a few minutes to reflect on where you’ve been, what you’ve learned, and how you want to grow. Progress isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up for yourself, one step at a time.

You’ve already started the journey, wherever you’re heading, and that’s something to celebrate. If you get stuck when working on your personal short-term or long-term goals, you can reach out for support.

Wine O’Clock to Wellness: Making Sense of Drinking Habits

Wine O’clock to Wellness: Making Sense of Drinking Habits

For many people, drinking alcohol begins as a way to unwind, socialise, or manage stress at the end of the day. Over time, it can become a habit that feels harder to change than expected, even when you start to question whether it still fits the life you want.

These moments of reflection often come during times of change, when we begin to notice which habits are supporting us and which may no longer feel helpful.

How Drinking Became Normalised for Women

Drinking alcohol, especially wine and gin, has become increasingly normalised and even encouraged as a way for women to unwind. Popular phrases such as “wine o’clock” and “live, laugh, love and drink wine” have become part of everyday language, often framing drinking as a reward at the end of the day. While these messages can seem light-hearted, they can also make it easier to overlook the impact alcohol may be having on our mood, energy, and overall wellbeing.

For some people, reading or hearing these messages can prompt a moment of reflection. It may raise questions about personal habits, routines, and whether alcohol still plays the same role it once did. These reflections look different for everyone and there is no single right way to respond to them.

Reflecting on Your Drinking Habits

When it comes to drinking habits, everyone’s relationship with alcohol is different. For some, alcohol is part of everyday life, while for others it appears mainly in social situations or during periods of stress. Taking a moment to reflect on your own habits can sometimes bring clarity about what role alcohol plays for you.

People often drink for different reasons. For example:

  • Social drinking, where alcohol is linked with connection, socialising, or fitting in

  • Coping drinking, where alcohol is used to manage stress, worry, or emotional discomfort

  • Enhancement drinking, where alcohol is used to lift mood or add excitement

  • Conformity drinking, where alcohol feels tied to expectations or avoiding feeling left out

These descriptions are not labels, and many people recognise parts of themselves in more than one. The purpose of reflecting in this way is simply to build awareness and understanding, rather than to judge or categorise yourself.

Does It Help to Understand Your Drinking Habits?

Taking time to reflect on your drinking habits can sometimes help you notice patterns or triggers you may not have been aware of before. For some people, this brings reassurance. For others, it simply offers a clearer picture of how alcohol fits into their day-to-day life.

Rather than focusing on labels or categories, it can be more helpful to gently ask yourself how alcohol affects different areas of your life. This might include your mood, energy levels, relationships, or how you feel about yourself over time.

There is no right or wrong conclusion to reach. For many people, the value lies in the reflection itself and in becoming more aware of what feels supportive and what feels less so.

Why Do We Begin to Rely on Alcohol?

Alcohol can sometimes become part of daily life in ways we do not immediately notice. For many people, it starts as something that feels helpful, familiar, or comforting, especially during busy or demanding periods.

People often describe different reasons why alcohol becomes part of their routine. For example:

  • A way to relax, such as having a drink after work or once the house is quiet, which can begin to feel like an end-of-day ritual.

  • Coping with stress, where alcohol offers temporary relief from pressure, worry, or emotional load.

  • Easing boredom, particularly in the evenings, when drinking can make time feel fuller or more engaging.

  • Numbing difficult feelings, where alcohol acts as a distraction from uncomfortable thoughts or emotions.

  • A social habit, where gatherings or nights out feel centred around drinking, or alcohol helps people feel more at ease socially.

During times of change, such as starting a new job, moving house, or navigating a relationship shift, it can be especially easy for alcohol to take on a larger role. Noticing these patterns is not about blame or judgement, but about understanding what alcohol may be offering at different points in life.

Thinking About Safety and Support

If you are considering making changes to your drinking, it is important to think about your wellbeing and safety. For some people, alcohol has become a significant part of daily life, and sudden changes can feel physically or emotionally challenging.

If you have concerns about your health, or if drinking feels difficult to manage on your own, speaking with a GP or a specialist support service can be a helpful first step. Reaching out for guidance is a sign of self-care, not failure.

For many people, the starting point is not stopping immediately, but becoming more aware of their habits, triggers, and needs. Small, supported steps often feel more sustainable than drastic change.

woman looking sad sitting at a table contemplating drinking wine

The Link between Alcohol and Wellbeing

While alcohol may offer short-term relief, its longer-term effects can quietly affect different areas of well-being over time. Some people begin to notice changes that feel out of step with how they want to live or feel.

Common areas that can be affected include:

  • Physical health: Alcohol can place strain on the body over time, including the liver and heart, and may contribute to longer-term health concerns.

  • Emotional well-being: Drinking can sometimes intensify feelings of anxiety, low mood, or emotional flatness, particularly when used as a way to cope with stress.

  • Relationships: Alcohol can influence communication, patience, and connection, which may affect close relationships in subtle or more noticeable ways.

Periods of change often invite reflection. For many people, noticing how alcohol fits into their overall well-being becomes part of a wider process of reassessing what feels supportive and what no longer does. This awareness alone can be an important step in understanding personal needs and values as life evolves.

A Kinder Way Forward

For many people, change begins quietly. Not with a big decision, but with moments of noticing. Noticing how you feel in the mornings. Noticing what you reach for at the end of the day. Noticing what helps and what no longer feels supportive.

Reflecting on your relationship with alcohol can open space for greater clarity. Some people notice a growing desire for clearer mornings, more emotional steadiness, or a stronger sense of alignment with their values. Others simply begin to question habits that once felt automatic.

There is no single right outcome and no pressure to change everything at once. What matters is developing awareness and self-compassion as you explore what feels right for you at this stage of life.

For some, this reflection leads to gradual changes. For others, it offers insight, reassurance, or a clearer understanding of personal needs. All of these are valid starting points.

Supportive Strategies to Explore

If you’re trying to stop drinking alcohol or cut back, incorporating self-help techniques into your daily routine can make a significant difference. Here are some practical methods to support your efforts:

  1. Identify Your Triggers

Reflect on when and why you feel the urge to drink. Common triggers include stress, boredom, social pressure, or emotional distress. Once you know your triggers, you can prepare alternative coping strategies, such as journalling, walking, or practising deep breathing.

  1. Set Clear Goals

Decide whether you want to cut down or stop drinking completely. Set specific, achievable goals, like limiting yourself to a certain number of drinks per week or avoiding alcohol during weekdays. As you move forward tracking your progress can help you stay accountable and motivated.

  1. Replace the Habit

Find healthier alternatives to fill the time or emotional space that drinking occupies. This might include exercise, meditation, listening to pod-casts, reading, cooking, or taking up a new hobby. Substituting alcohol with non-alcoholic drinks, like sparkling water or herbal teas, can also help ease the transition.

  1. Create a Support System

Share your challenges and intentions with a trusted friend or family member who can support you. You may also find it helpful to join online communities or local support groups where others are on the same journey. Knowing you’re not alone can be incredibly encouraging.

  1. Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness can help you stay in the present and become aware of your thoughts and emotions. When the urge to drink arises, take a moment to pause, take a deep breath, and ask yourself what you’re feeling. This awareness can help you choose a healthier response.

  1. Celebrate Your Wins

Acknowledge your progress, even if it seems small. Whether declining a drink at a party or going a week without alcohol, celebrating these victories builds confidence and reinforces your commitment to change.

woman's hand round a cup drinking a healthy herbal tea

Are You Ready to Take the Next Step?

Reducing or stopping drinking isn’t just about what you give up, it’s also about what you gain. Many people notice greater clarity, steadier energy, and an increased sense of confidence as they begin to change their relationship with alcohol.

If you’re starting to reflect more on your habits, it can help to focus on small, supportive changes rather than trying to overhaul everything at once. The goal isn’t perfection, it’s progress, and finding a way forward that feels healthier, calmer, and more aligned with the life you want.

Thinking About Stopping Vaping? Understanding Your Habits

Ready to Stop Vaping? Here’s How to Break Free for Good

For many women, vaping starts as a way to manage stress, transition from smoking, or simply get through a busy day. It can feel like a harmless habit, one that slots easily into your routine. But over time, what started as an occasional puff can become something harder to let go of.

If you’ve been thinking about quitting but keep putting it off, you’re not alone. Breaking free from nicotine isn’t just about willpower, it’s about understanding the triggers, routines, and beliefs that keep you reaching for your vape. Taking a step back and reflecting on your habits can be a powerful tool in making lasting changes. If you’re ready to take control and set meaningful goals, you might find this helpful: Achieving Your Goals: The Role of Reflection.

Why is Vaping So Hard to Quit?

One of the biggest reasons vaping is so difficult to stop is how easily it fits into daily life. Unlike cigarettes, which come with social and physical barriers, vaping is discreet. You can do it indoors, at work, or on the go without anyone noticing.

Another challenge is nicotine dependence. Whether you switched from smoking or started vaping on its own, nicotine is addictive. The cravings can feel relentless, and even when you want to stop, your brain may tell you otherwise.

There’s also a lot of uncertainty around vaping’s long-term effects. We know the dangers of smoking, but with vaping, research is still emerging. This lack of clarity can make quitting feel less urgent. But just because something isn’t proven to be as harmful as smoking doesn’t mean it’s harmless.

Inspirational quote ‘Positive energy knows no boundaries’ in a calming design

The Real Cost of Vaping

When people think about quitting, they often focus on nicotine cravings. But stepping away from vaping is about more than just breaking a physical habit, it’s about taking back control.

  • Your Health – While marketed as a safer option than cigarettes, vaping still affects your lungs, heart, and overall well-being. Many people report shortness of breath, an irritated throat, or increased anxiety.
  • Your Money – Small purchases add up fast. The cost of refills, pods, and devices can be surprising when you add it all up over a year.
  • Your Time & Freedom – How often do you find yourself automatically reaching for your vape without even thinking? Quitting means no more planning your day around cravings.

Breaking the Cycle – What Actually Works?

Quitting vaping isn’t just about avoiding your device, it’s about rewiring the habit. Many people try to quit using sheer willpower, but long-term success often requires a mix of habit change, mindset shifts, and practical tools.

Some of the most effective methods include:

  • Nicotine Replacement Therapy (NRT) – Patches, gum, or lozenges can help ease cravings while you adjust to life without vaping.
  • Behavioural Changes – Identifying when and why you vape can help you replace it with healthier alternatives.
  • Mindset Work – Addressing subconscious beliefs and stress triggers can make quitting feel easier and more natural. Methods like hypnotherapy and cognitive behavioural approaches can help break the mental and emotional connection to vaping.

Your Next Step to Stop Vaping for Good

If you’re ready to quit, the first step is understanding your personal triggers and finding a strategy that works for you. Whether you choose NRT, habit coaching, or therapeutic approaches like hypnosis, the key is having the right support to stay on track.

You don’t have to go it alone. I offer one-to-one sessions designed to help you break free from vaping in a way that fits your lifestyle.

Ditch Resolutions: Set Meaningful Goals for Lasting Change

Resolutions vs. Goals: How to Achieve Lasting Success This Year

The start of a new year often brings a whirlwind of emotions. On one hand, it’s a time of fresh beginnings and exciting possibilities. On the other, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by the weight of expectations, lingering Christmas and New Year chaos, or the pressure to set and achieve ambitious goals. If you’re feeling stuck, scattered, or emotionally drained, know you’re not alone. The key to overcoming these challenges is shifting your approach to resolutions and goal-setting to achieve lasting success.

This blog will walk you through practical strategies to create meaningful, sustainable goals and explore why resolutions often fail. By adopting a more thoughtful and evidence-based approach, you’ll not only overcome overwhelm but also build a foundation for lasting success.

Why New Year’s Resolutions Often Fail and How to Achieve Lasting Success

Many people start the year with a list of resolutions, but studies show that most fade into the background by February. Why does this happen? Resolutions often focus on sweeping changes, such as “I’ll lose weight” or “I’ll save more money,” without a clear plan to achieve them. They’re frequently rooted in external pressures or unrealistic expectations, leading to frustration and burnout. Perhaps you’ve been carrying the same goal yearly but never seem to reach it. If that sounds familiar, it might be time to reassess and approach that goal differently.

Instead of rigid resolutions, consider setting flexible, meaningful goals that allow for growth and adaptation. Goals are less about perfection and more about progress. Focusing on small, manageable steps makes you more likely to stay motivated and achieve lasting success.

Resolutions vs. Goals: What’s the Difference?

Resolutions are often rigid and outcome-focused (“I’ll run a marathon this year”), whereas goals are more flexible and process-oriented (“I’ll work up to running 5km by the spring”). Goals give you space to adjust as life changes and allow for setbacks without feeling like you’ve failed.

This kind of flexibility is especially important during life transitions when unexpected shifts can make rigid goals feel overwhelming or unrealistic. If you’re navigating change—whether in your career, relationships, or personal growth—having the right support can help you set meaningful goals that evolve with you. Learn more about how Life Transitions Coaching can help you create a plan that works for your unique journey.

How to Set Effective Goals to Achieve Lasting Success

Be Specific: Instead of saying, “I want to be healthier,” set a goal like “I’ll go for a 30-minute walk three times a week.”

Make Them Measurable: Track your progress to stay motivated.
Keep Them Realistic: Aim for incremental improvements rather than drastic changes.
Set a Time Frame: Give yourself a target date to work toward.

Effective goal-setting isn’t just about choosing the right targets—it’s about creating a structure that sets you up for success. If you want to dive deeper into how to set goals that work for you, check out my blog on Setting Goals and Achieving them.

The Science of Goal Setting and Behaviour Change

1. Habit Formation: The 21/66-Day Rule

Popular advice often suggests it takes 21 days to form a habit, but research from University College London found that behaviour typically takes around 66 days to become automatic. The key is consistency rather than speed. Small, repeatable actions—like drinking a glass of water first thing in the morning—lay the foundation for achieving lasting success. (See References below for more on habit formation.)

2. The Transtheoretical Model (Stages of Change)

The Transtheoretical Model outlines five stages of behaviour change:

  • Precontemplation: Not yet considering change.
  • Contemplation: Starting to think about change.
  • Preparation: Making plans and setting goals.
  • Action: Actively working toward the change.
  • Maintenance: Sustaining the new behaviour.

Understanding where you are in this process can help you set realistic, achievable goals. If you’re in the contemplation stage, for example, the focus should be on gathering information and building motivation before diving into action. (See References below for more on behaviour change.)

3. Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

According to Deci and Ryan’s Self-Determination Theory, goals driven by intrinsic motivation (e.g., “I want to feel healthier and have more energy”) are more sustainable than those based on extrinsic motivation (e.g., “I want to lose weight to look good in photos”). When your goals are aligned with your core values and personal aspirations, they become more meaningful and rewarding, increasing the likelihood of long-term success. (See References below for more on motivation and behaviour change.)

4. Implementation Intentions

Research by Dr. Peter Gollwitzer suggests that creating “if-then” plans increases the likelihood of achieving goals. These simple, structured plans help you anticipate challenges and stay on track by providing clear, actionable alternatives.

For example:

  • If I feel like vaping, then I’ll chew nicotine gum instead.
  • If I’m too tired to exercise, then I’ll commit to a 10-minute walk instead of skipping it.

By planning ahead for obstacles, you make it easier to stick to your goals and avoid falling into old habits. (See References below for more on goal-setting strategies.)

Why Resolutions Fail

Common pitfalls include:

  • Setting goals that are vague or unrealistic.
  • Trying to tackle too much at once.
  • Failing to plan for setbacks or challenges.

The solution? Start small, focus on one goal at a time, and create a clear plan for success.

An Example: Sarah’s Journey to Better Health

Sarah, 32, decided to improve her health. She’s been vaping for years, often paired with a glass or two of wine in the evenings. Sarah also struggles with eating processed foods when she is on the go, out of convenience, and as result often feels tired. Sarah’s initial thoughts might be to tackle everything at once, but instead, she decides to focus on one goal at a time.

Joyful woman with yellow cloth in the sunshine signifying achieving lasting success

Step 1: Identifying Priorities and Starting Small

Sarah reflects on which change would have the biggest impact on her overall health and decides to start by addressing her wine consumption. She sets a specific, achievable goal: to completely stop drinking initially, with the possibility of later transitioning to being a social drinker rather than drinking alone. It’s important to approach this safely—if you feel you might be dependent on alcohol, it’s essential to contact a healthcare provider, as stopping drinking abruptly can have health implications. In Sarah’s case, she recognised that her drinking was more of a habit she wanted to break rather than a dependence on alcohol.

By focusing solely on this one habit, Sarah avoids feeling overwhelmed. Each small success such as one night being alcohol free is counted as a big win.  Sarah has noticed triggers such as the evenings feel much longer without drinking so she has written a list of things she can do instead of reaching our for a glass of wine such as reading, going for a walk, catching up on some documentaries she has been wanting to watch or talking on the phone with her friends.

Step 2: Building Momentum with the Domino Effect

After four weeks, Sarah feels proud of her progress. She notices that she’s already starting to feel better physically, which motivates her to address her next goal: to stop vaping. She sets a new goal: “I will cut my vaping by half over the next two weeks by using nicotine gum.”

Surprisingly, Sarah finds it easier to tackle this goal because vaping and wine have been closely linked for her. Due to stopping drinking alcohol, she is less likely to pick up her vape. She has replaced her evening glass of wine with a new collection of herbal teas, which also starts to improve her sleep.

Step 3: Expanding to Healthier Eating

With more energy and better sleep, Sarah now feels ready to address her eating habits. She doesn’t try to overhaul her diet overnight but instead focuses on a single change: “I’ll prepare a healthy dinner three nights a week, starting with simple recipes.”

After a month, cooking becomes a habit. Sarah notices she’s snacking less and feels more in control of her eating. The small changes are adding up, and she’s beginning to see how much better she feels.

Step 4: Continuing to Build Over Time

Sarah’s final focus is improving her sleep. By now, the healthier eating and reduced alcohol are already helping her feel less sluggish, but she set a clear goal to stop scrolling on her phone before bed and commit to a consistent bedtime. With each change driving the next, Sarah finds herself healthier, happier, and more energised than when she started.

Reassess and Adapt as You Go

Life is unpredictable, and your goals should be flexible enough to adapt to changing circumstances. Schedule regular check-ins with yourself to evaluate what’s working and what needs adjustment. Maybe a goal you set in January no longer feels relevant by March, or you’ve made progress faster than expected and are ready to take on a new challenge.

Tip: Reflect on your progress monthly. Celebrate wins, learn from setbacks, and adjust your goals as needed.

Building Rest and Enjoyment into Your Plan

It’s important to remember rest and happiness are essential parts of the process. Achieving your goals shouldn’t feel like a chore. Incorporate activities that bring you happiness and relaxation, whether it’s spending time with loved ones, engaging in a hobby, or simply enjoying a quiet moment with a cup of tea.

Tip: Schedule relaxation time just as you would any other commitment. Rest is productive because it replenishes your energy and focus.

Relaxing table with bouquet poppies, alarm clock and books

Final Thoughts

This year, to achieve lasting success, give yourself the gift of a more thoughtful, balanced approach to growth. By addressing overwhelm, setting meaningful goals, and taking a holistic view of your well-being, you can create lasting change in your life. Remember, progress is more important than perfection. Start small, reassess often, and celebrate each step forward. A healthier, happier you is within reach, one goal at a time.

References

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (1985). Intrinsic motivation and self-determination in human behavior. Springer Science & Business Media

Gollwitzer, P. M. (1999). Implementation intentions: Strong effects of simple plans. American Psychologist, 54(7), 493-503.

Lally, P., van Jaarsveld, C. H. M., Potts, H. W. W., & Wardle, J. (2009). How are habits formed: Modelling habit formation in the real world. European Journal of Social Psychology, 40(6), 998-1009

Prochaska, J. O., & DiClemente, C. C. (1983). Stages and processes of self-change of smoking: Toward an integrative model of change. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 51(3), 390–395.

6 Tips for Managing Life Transitions (with Confidence)

6 Tips for Managing Life Transitions (with Confidence)

Life transitions can be exciting, full of possibilities, and packed with hope for what’s to come. But they can also feel overwhelming. Balancing the demands of work, family, relationships, and your own well-being during times of change can leave you feeling stretched thin.

When life throws something new your way, it’s natural to find yourself at a crossroads, wondering which path to take.

Research indicates that significant life transitions can influence our personality traits, shaping how we see ourselves and our roles in the world. These shifts might feel unsettling, but they also present an incredible opportunity for growth and self-discovery.

If you’re navigating a life transition, the good news is that you don’t have to do it alone. Therapy can provide the clarity, tools, and support to help you face these moments with confidence and resilience.

The Challenges of Life Transitions

Life transitions take many forms:

  • Starting university or a new career.
  • Adjusting to life with ADHD as an adult.
  • Navigating the changes that midlife brings.

While these shifts can bring exciting opportunities, they often stir up feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, or even fear. You might wonder whether you’re making the right choices or how to handle the challenges ahead.

By taking small steps forward, you can build the confidence to approach these transitions with clarity and calmness.

  1. Embrace Change with Self-Compassion

It’s normal to feel unsure or anxious when life changes. Instead of criticising yourself for not having everything figured out, try to extend the same kindness you’d offer a friend in your position.

Try this: At the end of each day, write down one kind thing you can say to yourself about how you handled the day’s challenges. For example, “I’m proud of how I stayed calm during that meeting” or “It’s okay that I needed a break today.”

2. Create a Clear Vision of Your New Path

Take a moment to picture where you’d like to be after this transition. What does your ideal life look like? Writing down your goals and breaking them into smaller, more achievable steps can make even the most significant changes feel manageable.

Try this: Write down one goal for the week and list three small actions to help you achieve it. Ensure you take the time to feel a sense of pride when you reach your goal, as this will serve as the driver to move you forward.

3. Stay Present in the Moment

It’s easy to get caught up in ruminating about the past or worry excessively about the future, but staying focused on the present can help reduce overwhelm. Mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, are powerful tools for staying calm and clear-headed.

Try this: Close your eyes and take five slow breaths, focusing on the sensation of air moving in and out of your body. Notice how your shoulders and chest feel as you exhale tension. Thoughts may come into your mind, but allow them to pass without judgment, and then refocus on your breathing.

4. Build a Support System

Transitions can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through them alone. Talking things through with supportive friends, family, or even a therapist can help you process your feelings and feel more connected.

Try this: Reach out to a trusted friend or join an online community that relates to your experience. Sharing your story can make the load feel lighter. You may be surprised as there are often people experiencing similar challenges, and it can be helpful to connect with someone who has lived experience of the changes you are working through.

5. Establish Healthy Routines

During transitions, maintaining structure in your day can create a sense of stability. Simple routines, like regular exercise, journalling, or scheduling quiet time, can help you feel more grounded and in control.

Try this: Create a morning routine with three calming actions, like stretching, sipping a cup of tea, or setting an intention for the day. A healthy routine doesn’t have to involve oodles of self-care techniques; remind yourself that often less is more.

6. Reframe Negative Thoughts

Big changes often come with self-doubt or fear of failure. Learning to challenge and reframe negative thoughts into positive ones can transform your outlook.

Try this: When you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll never manage this,” replace it with, “I’m figuring it out step by step.”

Female student standing outside university looking confident

Navigating University and Entering the Workforce: Emma’s Story

Emma, a university student, came to me during her final year. She felt overwhelmed by upcoming deadlines, her dissertation, and the challenge of balancing studies with an active social life. Together, we worked on breaking her tasks into more manageable steps, prioritising self-care, and finding a routine that made her feel organised and more confident.

After graduation, Emma faced new challenges: adjusting to life back home and transitioning into her first ‘real’ job. She worried about leaving her university friends behind and stepping into the unknown world of a 9-to-5 role.

Through therapy, Emma learned strategies for managing her anxieties, preparing for interviews, and creating boundaries between work and personal life. I’m so proud of how she overcame her fears, adapted to her new routine, and built a balanced and fulfilling life.

Emma’s story is a reminder that even the most overwhelming transitions can become stepping stones to growth.

The Benefit of Personalised Support

Life transitions are deeply personal, and the right support can make all the difference. Therapy offers tailored insights, tools, and strategies designed to help you navigate change with clarity and confidence.

My approach is holistic, addressing the mind, body, and emotions to create a sense of balance and resilience. Through mindfulness, practical techniques, and self-compassion, we work together to help you move forward in a way that feels right for you. Learn more about how I can support you on my Life Transitions page.

Man standing by two green pathways deciding which route to take

A Holistic Approach to Life Transitions

Navigating life transitions holistically means addressing the mind, body, and spirit together. This interconnected approach acknowledges that emotional health, physical well-being, and mental clarity are important when managing change.

For instance, mindfulness techniques can reduce stress and enhance focus, while lifestyle adjustments such as maintaining a healthy diet and engaging in some physical activities support overall wellness.

Incorporating self-compassion practices nurtures emotional health and creates a grounded pathway, empowering you to move forward with confidence.

Clear Haven Therapy: Therapeutic Services

Navigating change is easier with the right support. Whether you’re looking for counselling, coaching, or RTT I offer approaches tailored to your needs. Learn more about how I can support you here.

Embracing Life Transitions: University, Midlife, and Beyond

Whether you’re moving from university to the working world, navigating midlife changes, or discovering you have ADHD in adulthood, therapy can provide the support you need. For students transitioning into the workplace, therapy creates a supportive space to address lifestyle changes, time management, and clarity in career paths.

Midlife often invites reflection and reassessment of life’s direction, from navigating menopause to exploring new career opportunities. Therapy allows you to reconnect with what truly matters, rediscovering past interests or finding new passions that resonate with your current lifestyle.

Life transitions may bring uncertainty, but they also offer the chance to grow, redefine your path, and create a life that truly aligns with you. With the right support, you can move through change with confidence, knowing that every step forward brings new opportunities.

Further Reading:

Bleidorn, W., Hopwood, C. J., & Lucas, R. E. (2018). Life Events and Personality Trait Change. Journal of Personality, 86(1), 83–96.

How to STOP Overthinking: Tips, Techniques and Strategies

How to STOP Overthinking: Tips, Techniques and Strategies

As a counsellor and coach, I often hear clients asking me how to stop overthinking. Clients describe overthinking as a constant barrage of negative thoughts racing through their minds, the sound of continuous chatter, or playing out past and future scenarios, all with different endings. This blog will provide tips, techniques, and strategies to help you stop overthinking in its tracks, providing you with the calmness your body and mind need.

Constant intrusive thoughts can make people anxious and stressed, impacting how they feel during the day. They can also cause sleepless nights, which can take its toll on a person’s mental health. Overthinking can feel like a relentless cycle of destructive thought patterns and catastrophic predictions that refuse to switch off or quiet down. If you experience this level of overthinking, you know how exhausting it can be.

I often liken overthinking to going on an emotional roller-coaster; you repeatedly experience the emotions attached to events that your mind creates. You have been on this emotional journey but haven’t been anywhere apart from trapped in an endless cycle of anxious thoughts.

Let’s examine the triggers, mental and physical symptoms, and tips and strategies for conquering negative thinking patterns.

What Triggers Overthinking?

Understanding what triggers overthinking can be revealing. This insight can help you achieve a more calming and peaceful mind and lead you to personal growth.

Notice how overthinking tends to start for you. It is triggered by;

  • An event or situation that you find stressful
  • A sudden recollection of past events that has made you feel embarrassed or not good enough?  An assumption based on how you perceive the actions of others
  • The fear of confrontation or upsetting another person

For example, it could be a sideways glance from a friend, the tone of a work email, or an unanswered WhatsApp message. Thoughts can quickly escalate and result in running different conversations through your mind, with different endings; usually, these thoughts have worst-case scenario outcomes.

When you notice the triggers, the next time you end up overthinking, you can remind yourself that it is just a thought, not a fact. You can then decide what you would like to do with the idea. Is there some problem-solving to do? How does the thought make you feel? Can you describe the feeling and name it? Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a therapy that can help with reframing thoughts. The premise of CBT is that thoughts, feelings, and behaviours are all interlinked.

The Downside of Overthinking

Overthinking, catastrophising, and trapping yourself in negative thought patterns prevent you from living in the present moment. Getting into the vicious cycle of overthinking can impact your daily life. Research demonstrates overthinking can be responsible for issues which include:

  • Mental Health Conditions
  • Isolation
  • Sleep Issues
  • Procrastination
  • Low confidence and low self-esteem
  • Headaches, muscle tension and digestive problems

This physical and mental toll is a stark reminder of the need to address overthinking. However, the million-dollar question is, what is the best way to free yourself from overthinking?

Breaking Free from Overthinking

Breaking free from overthinking isn’t just about pushing away your thoughts. It’s about taking control, changing your relationship with these persistent thoughts, and finding alternative ways to manage them.

An excellent place to start is to recognise how overthinking affects you. Notice the mental and physical symptoms and reflect on how they impact other areas of your life, such as interacting with others, progressing in the workplace, or procrastinating. Then, flip this on its side: If you didn’t overthink, what would life look like then? This part is essential as it serves as the driver for you to beat overthinking.

Reflecting on your thoughts may seem counterproductive, as it involves more thinking! However, stay with me. Overthinking can sometimes be helpful, but you must find better ways to manage your overthinking habits, which we will discuss later in this blog.

Reviewing the past and planning the future can be helpful. However, it is essential to enjoy the here and now rather than getting caught up in a spiral of “what ifs”, “could haves “, and “should haves.”

Overthinking and The Red Car Theory?

The Red Car Theory suggests that when you focus on something, you start noticing it everywhere. For example, if you think about a red car, suddenly, it seems like they’re all over the road. In reality, the number of red cars hasn’t increased, your brain is just more tuned in to them because they’re at the forefront of your mind. Everything else fades into the background as your attention locks onto what you’re looking for.

This theory highlights how selective attention shapes our perception. When you overthink, your mind fixates on certain thoughts, making them feel overwhelming and ever-present. Recognising this can bring relief, helping you step back and see the bigger picture.

Case Study: How the Red Car Theory Fits with Overthinking

Emma’s colleague Tom comes into work one day and is unusually quiet. Emma notices Tom doesn’t smile when he sits down and doesn’t speak for most of the morning.

Emma started thinking about what she could have done or said to upset him. Was it the last email she sent? Did it sound curt rather than friendly? Emma revisited past situations in her mind, such as the time she forgot to hand over an important document and the time she missed a necessary appointment.

Emma concludes that she has made Tom angry, which must be related to her incompetence. She remembers other times when Tom was quiet and believes he doesn’t like working with her.

With these thoughts going through her mind, Emma struggles to focus on her work. She becomes aware of other colleagues around her interacting with each other, making her feel more alone and unpopular. These thoughts confirm to Emma that Tom doesn’t like her, that she is unpopular in the office, and that she HAS evidence of this.

What is Confirmation Bias?

However, the reality of this situation is likely to be quite different. There could be several reasons why Tom was quiet; he may have had bad news before coming into the office, missed the earlier train he intended to catch, or had a difficult night’s sleep. Similarly, Emma’s colleagues often chat and interact with each other; this isn’t unusual as they sit next to each other and must interact within their roles.

This example demonstrates confirmation bias, which occurs when you seek information to support your thoughts and disregard any other information that does not fit the story you are telling yourself. Confirmation bias can impact decision-making and your perception of situations and events.

Practical Steps to Overcome Overthinking

Overcoming the relentless noise of overthinking involves a multifaceted approach. As a Pluralistic Counsellor, there is no one-size-fits-all approach; it’s more about trying different techniques until you discover what works best for you.

Below is a range of self-care techniques known to help with overthinking. Trying different techniques can take time, but investing time in yourself is the first positive step.

  • Breathing Exercises:

    Deep breathing exercises are a great way to stop overthinking. You can try many different breathing exercises, including the Square Breathing Technique, which will help slow down your heart rate, make you feel more relaxed, and give you mental clarity.

  • Keeping a Gratitude Journal:

    Every day, spend a few minutes writing down what you are grateful for, or if you do it in the evening, write about what you have been thankful for during the day. It can be something that would typically go unnoticed, such as the beauty of nature around you, the brief interaction you had on your morning commute, or ticking jobs off your ‘to-do’ list. If you would like more information on the benefits of journalling, you might like my blog.

  • Body Scan Meditation:

    Get comfortable and focus your attention on different parts of your body. Begin with your toes and move upwards, noticing any areas of tension or discomfort. This exercise brings an awareness of the present moment and highlights how overthinking can impact physical health.

  • Mindfulness Meditation Practices:

    Pick up a small object and hold it in your hand.   Set a timer for five minutes and adequately focus on this object. How does it feel? Move your hand over the different textures, take in every detail, how it smells, and look at the colours. If thoughts come into your mind, just let them go and bring yourself back to looking at the object as soon as you notice them.

  • Physical Activity:

    When you exercise, your body releases many hormones that make you feel good, such as endorphins, serotonin, and dopamine. Exercise can be anything from a brisk walk to gentle exercise, team sports, or a gym workout. Choose whatever works best for you.

  • Allocate Time to Reflect:

    It can help to observe a thought mindfully rather than pushing it away. Accept the thought without judgment; write it down or do some problem-solving. A good tip is to allocate a time limit to reflect on thoughts during the day; often, when you reflect on them at a different time, they may feel insignificant, and you can let them go.

These techniques will help you stay in the present and offer you peace and tranquillity while your focus is only on what you are doing. The good news is that you will feel empowered by taking control of your mind, knowing you prioritise your mental health and overall well-being.

Close-up of running trainers, illustrating how exercise can alleviate overthinking.

When Overthinking Can Be Helpful

Overthinking often carries negative connotations, and if you identify as an overthinker, you might have heard comments like:

  • ‘It’s not that complicated. What’s your gut telling you?’
  • ‘You’re spending too much time thinking about this.’
  • ‘Are you still dwelling on this? Why not make a decision?’
  • ‘I can see this situation is stressing you; you’re overthinking it.’

Overthinking frequently stems from a fear of making the wrong decision. However, there’s often no definitive right or wrong choice; we must decide based on the information available. This is where problem-solving becomes a powerful tool, helping to identify actionable steps toward the best possible outcome.

In his article, ‘In Defence of (Over) Thinking,’ SuddhaSatwa GuhaRoy (2024) discusses how overthinking can be beneficial, particularly in academic research, problem-solving, or making significant life decisions. He suggests setting aside time to engage with recurring thoughts mindfully. Allocate time to sit with these thoughts; some may not require further consideration, while others might benefit from structured problem-solving. By taking this approach, you can determine the necessary steps to address specific concerns.

To Conclude

You don’t have to live a life filled with constant worry. Overthinking doesn’t define you, and with the right strategies, you can regain clarity and confidence in your decisions. Exploring the root cause of overthinking, whether it’s self-doubt, perfectionism, or low confidence, can help you break free from the cycle. As you strengthen your decision-making skills, you’ll naturally build self-trust, boost your self-esteem, and reduce the urge to overthink.

Many of these strategies can be effective on their own or with the support of a trusted friend. If you’d like extra guidance, professional support can help you move forward with greater clarity and self-awareness.

If you recognise that overthinking often comes with racing thoughts, distractibility, or emotional overwhelm, you may find my ADHD-informed courses designed to support focus, calm, and confidence.

Further Reading:

Nickerson, R. S. (1998). Confirmation Bias: A Ubiquitous Phenomenon in Many Guises. Review of General Psychology, 2(2), 175–220. https://doi.org/10.1037/1089-2680.2.2.175

Rensink, R. A. (2000). The Dynamic Representation of Scenes. Visual Cognition, 7(1-3), 17-42. https://doi.org/10.1080/135062800394667

GuhaRoy, S. (2024). In Defence of (Over)Thinking. Think, 23(67), 21–26. https://doi.org/10.1017/S1477175623000441

Making Sense of ADHD Patterns

Making Sense of ADHD Patterns

Managing ADHD isn’t just about attention, impulsivity, or hyperactivity. For many adults, it’s about navigating the everyday mental load that comes with it. Things like struggling to focus, feeling overwhelmed by racing thoughts, or quietly carrying a lot of self-doubt can all be part of the picture.

ADHD often affects more than people realise, touching confidence, emotions, and how you experience daily life. Making sense of these patterns can be an important step towards understanding yourself with more clarity and compassion.

5 ADHD Patterns That Can Impact Daily Life

1. When Your Mind Feels Constantly Busy

If you have ADHD, you might recognise this busy, constantly active mind. Thoughts jump from one thing to another, making it hard to concentrate, make decisions, or properly switch off. Over time, this can feel exhausting and leave you feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks or questioning yourself more than you’d like.

Sometimes, what helps isn’t trying to stop your thoughts, but learning how to pause and notice them with a bit more kindness. Creating even a small amount of mental space can make things feel clearer and calmer. For many people, this gentle awareness helps reduce the intensity of overthinking and supports a steadier, more manageable way of thinking over time.

2. Feeling like Your are Falling Short

If you’ve grown up with ADHD, you may have heard messages like “you’re not trying hard enough,” “you’re too disorganised,” or “this shouldn’t be so difficult for you.” Over time, those messages can quietly shape how you see yourself, leading to self-doubt, second-guessing, or a feeling that you’re somehow falling short.

Making sense of where these beliefs came from can be a powerful step. When you start to notice that many of these thoughts were learned rather than true, it becomes easier to relate to yourself with more compassion. For many people, this shift supports a steadier sense of confidence and a kinder inner voice when challenges show up.

3. Struggling with Sleep Patterns

If you have ADHD, sleep can often feel tricky. A busy or restless mind can make it hard to wind down at night, fall asleep, or stay asleep, especially after a day of lots of mental stimulation. You might find yourself exhausted but still wide awake, replaying the day or thinking about what’s coming next.

Over time, poor or broken sleep can start to affect how you feel during the day. It can make focus harder, emotions feel closer to the surface, and everyday tasks take more effort. For many people, gently noticing patterns around sleep, rather than trying to force rest, is a helpful place to start. Creating a calmer wind-down routine and understanding what helps your nervous system settle can gradually support a more restful relationship with sleep.

Woman sleeping peacefully in bed with a pillow

4. When Confidence Has Taken a Knock

With ADHD, confidence can take a hit over time, especially if you’ve spent years feeling misunderstood, criticised, or compared to others. Struggling with things like focus, organisation, or follow-through can slowly shape how you see yourself and what you believe you’re capable of, even when you’re trying your best.

Making sense of where that self-doubt comes from can be an important step. When you begin to notice how past experiences have influenced your confidence, it becomes easier to relate to yourself with more understanding rather than self-criticism. For many people, this shift supports a stronger sense of self-trust and a steadier confidence when navigating everyday challenges.

5. When Self-Doubt Creeps In

If you have ADHD, you might recognise that quiet but persistent self-doubt, even when things are going well. You may downplay your achievements, feel undeserving of success, or worry that at some point you’ll be “found out”. These feelings can linger despite evidence that you’re capable and doing your best.

Taking time to notice where these thoughts come from can be helpful. Often, they’re shaped by past experiences rather than present reality. When you begin to recognise these patterns for what they are, it can become easier to respond with less self-criticism and more balance. For many people, this awareness supports a steadier sense of confidence and a kinder relationship with their achievements.

Final Thoughts

Managing ADHD often involves more than learning practical strategies. For many adults, it also means making sense of long-standing patterns, emotional responses, and the beliefs that have developed over time. When these experiences are understood in context, it becomes easier to respond with more compassion rather than self-criticism.

Support does not have to be about changing who you are. For some people, it’s about creating space to reflect, building awareness, and finding approaches that feel supportive and realistic for everyday life. This might involve learning new ways to work with your focus and energy, strengthening self-trust, or developing strategies that feel more sustainable over time.

I work with adults who want support that feels thoughtful, flexible, and personalised. This can include one-to-one ADHD-informed support, as well as self-paced resources designed to help you better understand your ADHD and respond to it with more clarity and confidence.

If you’d like to explore this further, you can view my ADHD coaching programmes and self-study courses to learn more about the different ways I work.

Men’s Mental Health: Breaking Barriers and Embracing Therapy

Men’s Mental Health: Breaking Barriers and Embracing Therapy

Mental health challenges don’t discriminate, anyone can struggle, regardless of gender, background, or circumstance. Yet for many people, especially men, reaching out for help can still feel difficult. Cultural expectations, outdated beliefs, and fear of vulnerability often prevent people from seeking the support that could make a real difference.

Therapy provides a safe, confidential space to process emotions, reduce stress, and develop tools for greater resilience. Whether you’re managing anxiety, depression, relationship difficulties, or past trauma, you don’t have to face it alone.

Understanding Barriers to Seeking Help

Recognising what gets in the way of reaching out is often the first step toward change. Here are some common barriers people,  particularly men, experience when considering therapy:

Societal expectations
Many people grow up being told to be “strong, self-reliant, and in control.” These ideas can make seeking help feel like a weakness, when in reality it’s a courageous and proactive step toward well-being.

Shame and guilt
When emotions are suppressed, people may turn to coping mechanisms like overworking, alcohol, or withdrawal. This can lead to guilt or self-criticism, which further reinforces the belief that they must manage alone. Therapy offers a compassionate space to explore these patterns and build healthier ways to cope.

Stigma around mental health
Although public understanding has improved, the idea that therapy is only for “serious problems” still exists. In truth, mental health deserves the same care and attention as physical health.

Fear of vulnerability
Opening up can feel uncomfortable, especially for those who’ve learned to keep emotions private. Therapy helps people build confidence in expressing themselves, turning vulnerability into a source of strength and connection.

How Therapy Helps

Therapy offers a supportive, non-judgmental environment where you can explore challenges at your own pace. It can help you:

✔ Regulate emotions and manage stress more effectively.
✔ Develop grounding and mindfulness techniques to reduce overwhelm.
✔ Use journalling to process thoughts and emotions.
✔ Strengthen communication skills and set healthy boundaries.

Some people use therapy to work through past experiences that still affect them; others focus on practical strategies for the present. There’s no single “right way”,  what matters is finding an approach that fits you.

The Wider Impact of Prioritising Mental Health

Improving your mental well-being has ripple effects in every area of life, relationships, work, and community.

Normalising support
When you prioritise your mental health, you send a powerful message to others that seeking help is an act of strength. Open conversations about therapy help dismantle stigma and encourage others to do the same.

Strengthening relationships
Emotional awareness and self-regulation improve communication, empathy, and connection with those around you.

Enhancing work and daily life
When stress and overwhelm are addressed, focus, productivity, and confidence naturally improve. Therapy can support decision-making, teamwork, and overall balance.

When to Reach Out

It may be time to consider therapy if you notice:

  • Feeling easily irritated or emotionally drained.

  • Struggling to manage stress, pressure, or expectations.

  • Turning to alcohol, work, or distractions to cope.

  • Difficulty sleeping, concentrating, or finding motivation.

  • Losing interest in things that once brought joy.

If any of these feel familiar, support is available. Therapy provides a space to understand what’s happening and develop practical strategies to feel more grounded and in control.

To Conclude

Therapy isn’t about weakness, it’s about self-awareness, courage, and growth. By talking openly about mental health, we create a culture where everyone feels supported to seek help when they need it.

As a counsellor and coach, I offer a calm, confidential space to help you navigate life’s challenges and build emotional resilience. If you’re ready to take the first step, you can book a discovery call today.

Why Do I Get So Angry? Anger Management Strategies That Work

Why Do I Get So Angry? Understanding and Managing Anger

Anger is a natural and universal emotion, but when it feels overwhelming or uncontrollable, it can take a toll on your well-being and relationships. If you find yourself wondering, “Why do I get so angry?” you’re not alone. Many people struggle with anger, but the good news is that it can be managed effectively.

What is Anger?

Anger is your body’s way of alerting you to a perceived threat, injustice, or frustration. It can be a useful signal that something needs attention, whether it’s a personal boundary being crossed or an ongoing stressor in your life.

When managed well, anger can help you set boundaries, advocate for yourself, and take action in challenging situations. It can even drive positive change, making you more resilient and motivated to stand up for your values. However, when anger spirals out of control, it can negatively impact your relationships, work, and mental health

Why Do I Feel So Angry?

Anger isn’t just about what’s happening in the moment. It can be influenced by a combination of personal experiences, neurological factors, and underlying emotions such as stress, anxiety, or frustration. Factors that may contribute to increased anger include:

  • Past experiences and learned behaviours
  • Neurodevelopmental conditions such as ADHD or autism
  • Chronic stress or unresolved trauma
  • Physical health issues or hormonal imbalances
  • Feeling unheard, disrespected, or powerless

Understanding your personal triggers is key to managing anger more effectively.

How Anger Affects the Body

When anger strikes, your body enters a heightened state of arousal, activating the ‘fight-or-flight’ response. This survival mechanism releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, leading to physical symptoms such as:

  • Increased heart rate and blood pressure
  • Muscle tension and clenched fists
  • Sweating and flushed skin
  • Restlessness or difficulty concentrating
  • Difficulty sleeping

These responses are helpful in real emergencies, but when they occur frequently due to everyday frustrations, they can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and even long-term health issues.

Physical Exercise can help you to release anger, and it is good for your overall mental health.

How Do People Express Anger?

People express anger in different ways, often without realising it. Recognising your patterns can help you take control before anger escalates. Some common expressions of anger include:

Verbal Expressions

  • Raising your voice, shouting, or swearing
  • Using sarcasm or passive-aggressive comments
  • Blaming others or making accusations
  • Making threats or ultimatums

Non-verbal and Behavioural Expressions

  • Tense body language, clenched fists, or frowning
  • Withdrawing or refusing to communicate
  • Slamming doors, throwing objects, or physical aggression
  • Engaging in self-destructive behaviour, such as over-eating or substance use

The Impact Of Uncontrolled Anger

Unchecked anger can have serious consequences for your well-being and relationships. Over time, it may lead to:

  • Physical health issues such as high blood pressure and a weakened immune system
  • Mental health struggles including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem
  • Relationship breakdowns due to conflict and poor communication
  • Workplace difficulties affecting job performance and professional reputation

How to Manage Anger Effectively

Learning to manage anger doesn’t mean suppressing it, it’s about expressing it in a way that is healthy and constructive. Here are some strategies that can help:

Identify Your Triggers

Start by recognising what situations or thoughts tend to trigger your anger. Are there recurring patterns? By identifying these triggers, you can begin to address them before they escalate.

Take a Step Back

When anger starts to build, step away from the situation if possible. A short break can help you calm down and respond more rationally.

Use Relaxation Techniques

Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualisation can help reduce the intensity of anger. Before reacting, try taking slow, deep breaths and counting to ten. If you’d like more strategies, my blog on Grounding Techniques offers practical ways to stay calm and in control.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Cognitive restructuring involves changing the way you interpret situations. Instead of thinking, “This is so unfair,” try shifting your perspective to, “I can handle this calmly and find a solution.”

Practice Effective Communication

Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming others. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me!” try, “I feel frustrated when I don’t feel heard.”

Engage in Physical Activity

Exercise is a great way to release built-up tension and lower stress hormones. Activities such as walking, running, or even hitting a punch bag can be effective outlets.

Find Healthy Outlets for Your Emotions

Creative outlets like writing, painting, or playing music can help you express your feelings in a non-destructive way.

Create an Anger Management Plan

Develop a personalised plan with coping strategies you can use when anger arises. Having a clear plan makes it easier to respond calmly in the moment.

When to Seek Professional Support

If anger is affecting your daily life, relationships, or overall well-being, professional support can make a difference. Counselling, coaching, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and hypnotherapy can provide tools to help you manage anger more effectively and improve emotional regulation.

As a therapist, I support clients in developing personalised anger management strategies to regain control over their emotions and build healthier relationships. If you’re ready to take the next step, visit my services page to learn more about how I can help.

Final Thoughts

Anger is a natural emotion, but how you handle it shapes your well-being. By understanding your triggers, using effective coping strategies, and seeking support when needed, you can turn anger from a destructive force into a tool for positive change.

If you’d like to explore support options for managing anger, get in touch to book a discovery call. Managing anger is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.

How Therapy Can Help You Manage ADHD & Find Clarity

Adult ADHD: How Therapy Can Help You Find Clarity

Living with ADHD can feel like constantly juggling too many things at once, thoughts racing, unfinished tasks, and a sense of chaos that never quite settles. The distractions, impulsivity, and struggles with organisation can be overwhelming, making even simple daily routines feel like a challenge.

As a counsellor and ADHD coach, I’ve worked with many adults navigating ADHD related challenges. I understand how exhausting it can be when your mind feels like it never switches off.

Therapy doesn’t aim to ‘fix’ you, because you’re not broken, but it does provide tools, understanding, and strategies that can transform the chaos into clarity, helping you feel more in control of your life.

How ADHD Therapy Can Support You

1. Understanding ADHD and Embracing Self-Acceptance

One of the most powerful aspects of therapy is gaining a deeper understanding of how ADHD affects you. ADHD isn’t just about being forgetful or distracted, it’s about how your brain processes information. Recognising that your brain works differently, not incorrectly, can be a huge relief.

Through therapy, you can start to make sense of your unique strengths and challenges. You’ll learn that ADHD isn’t a personal failure but simply a different way of thinking. This shift in perspective can help release frustration and self-blame, paving the way for greater self-compassion and confidence.

2. Creating Personalised ADHD Strategies

ADHD coaching and therapy aren’t one-size-fits-all. Personalised strategies make such a difference in what works for someone else might not work for you. In therapy, we work together to develop techniques that suit your specific needs, such as:

  • Organisation & Time Management: Structuring your day in a way that works for your brain, using visual reminders, timers, and systems that reduce overwhelm.
  • Improving Focus & Attention: Mindfulness and cognitive techniques to help reduce distractions and increase sustained attention.
  • Managing Stress & Overwhelm: Practical coping strategies, relaxation exercises, and grounding techniques to help you stay calm and focused.

Having the right strategies in place can transform how you approach daily life, making things feel more manageable and less like a constant uphill struggle.

3. Managing Emotional Ups and Downs

ADHD isn’t just about focus, it also affects emotions. Many adults with ADHD experience intense emotions that feel impossible to control. Small frustrations can feel like major setbacks and moments of joy can be overwhelming, too.

Therapy provides tools to manage emotional highs and lows, helping you develop self-awareness and emotional regulation. Techniques like cognitive restructuring can help shift negative thought patterns, while mindfulness exercises can keep you grounded when emotions start to take over. Learning to manage your emotions can lead to stronger relationships, better decision-making, and an overall sense of calm.

Woman with a cloud above her head, representing the mental chaos of ADHD. Therapy and ADHD coaching can help manage these overwhelming thoughts.

4. Boosting Self-Esteem & Confidence

If you’ve been told throughout your life that you’re ‘too disorganised’ or ‘not trying hard enough,’ it’s no surprise if your confidence has taken a hit. Many adults with ADHD struggle with self-doubt, feeling like they’re always one step behind.

Therapy can help rebuild your self-esteem by focusing on your strengths rather than your challenges. You’ll start recognising the achievements you’ve overlooked, no matter how small. By setting achievable goals and celebrating progress, therapy helps you see that you’re capable of success, just like anyone else.

Breaking free from negative patterns plays a key role in building confidence. If self-doubt and old thought patterns are holding you back, you might find this blog on Building Self-Confidence and Breaking Negative Patterns helpful. It explores shifting your mindset and developing a stronger sense of self-worth.

5. Strengthening Relationships

ADHD can sometimes impact relationships, whether it’s forgetting important dates, struggling with communication, or feeling misunderstood. Therapy can help you navigate these challenges by improving communication skills and providing strategies to build stronger, healthier connections with loved ones, friends, and colleagues.

Understanding how ADHD affects your interactions can help you explain your needs more effectively and develop strategies for better communication. Stronger relationships create a stable support system, which is invaluable when managing ADHD.

6. Setting and Achieving Goals

Goal-setting can be tricky when you have ADHD. Big goals can feel overwhelming, and smaller steps can be easy to overlook. Therapy helps you break goals into manageable actions, create realistic plans, and track progress without the pressure of perfection.

Whether you want to improve your work performance, stay on top of daily tasks, or focus on personal development, therapy provides the structure, accountability, and encouragement to keep you moving forward.

7. Medication & Therapy: A Holistic Approach

For some adults with ADHD, medication can be helpful, but it’s not the only approach. Therapy provides practical skills and emotional support, helping you develop strategies tailored to your needs, whether or not you choose to use medication.

By focusing on self-awareness, coping techniques, and structured support, therapy empowers you to manage ADHD in a way that works for you.

Finding Clarity & Confidence with ADHD Therapy

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start, therapy could be the first step toward clarity and calm. Alongside counselling and ADHD Coaching I offer a range of self-guided courses to help with challenges suchs as overwhelm, procrastination, overthinking and more.

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety: How to Feel Calm & Present

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

In today’s fast-paced world, we often urge ourselves to keep pushing forward during tough times. However, this can lead to stress and feelings of overwhelm, which may contribute to anxiety disorders. Grounding techniques offer a powerful method for managing these emotions by helping you reconnect with the present moment and your surroundings.

This blog examines effective ways to incorporate grounding exercises into your daily routine to alleviate stress and anxiety.

Understanding Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

Grounding techniques help you reconnect with your body, thoughts, and the environment around you, offering relief from panic attacks, anxious thoughts, and strong emotions.

Grounding techniques, inspired by practices like “earthing,” such as walking barefoot on natural surfaces, are designed to alleviate anxiety symptoms by soothing the nervous system. These exercises can significantly improve mental well-being and help you regain control over overwhelming feelings.

wpman walking bare foot on a muddy path in a forest representing grounding techniques

Top 7 Grounding Techniques to Try Today

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Technique

The 5-4-3-2-1 technique is a simple but effective way to bring you back to the present moment through sensory awareness. This technique is highly recommended if you are experiencing panic attacks or dealing with anxiety disorders.

Five Things You See: Name five things in your surroundings.

Four Things You Can Touch: Focus your attention on four objects you can physically touch.

Three Things You Hear: Identify three distinct sounds.

Two Things You Can Smell: Recognise two different scents.

One Thing You Like About Yourself: Reflect on one positive trait.

cozy composition with mug, candles and a blanket representing grounding exercises

2. Self-Sooth Box

Create a personalised box filled with comforting and calming items:

  • Affirmations or Quotes: Include positive affirmations or motivational quotes.
  • Photos or Mementoes: Add photos or items that remind you of positive memories.
  • Textured Items: Use soft or comforting textures like fur, leather, or stress-relief toys.
  • Aromatherapy Scents: Include essential oils or scented items that you find relaxing.
  • Snacks: Add something sweet to taste or your favourite snack.
  • Music: Include a playlist of feel-good music.
  • Activities: Add colouring books, puzzles, or mind games.

Customising your box with items that help you feel more at ease empowers you to create a self-soothe box that resonates with you, providing control over your anxiety management and a sense of empowerment.

3. Grab and Describe an Object

When you feel overwhelmed, grabbing and describing an object in detail can help anchor you to the present moment.  This technique redirects negative thoughts and promotes feelings of calm by engaging your mind with your immediate surroundings.

  • Focus on the shape, texture, and colour.
  • Consider the object’s purpose and any personal connection you have with it.

4. Play a Memory Game

Distract your mind from anxious thoughts by playing a memory game. Focusing on memories creates mental distance from negative feelings and helps your brain relax.  Recall things like:

  • Favourite Places: Think of cities or landmarks you’ve visited.
  • Categories: Challenge yourself to list items in specific categories like animals, colours, or foods.

5. Mantras and Positive Affirmations

Using mantras or positive affirmations can shift your mindset and combat anxious thoughts.

  • Create “I am” Statements: Develop affirmations like “I am calm” or “I am in control.”
  • Repeat: Use these statements during stressful moments to reinforce a sense of peace and empowerment.

6. The Water Technique

Visualise yourself as a calm body of water to promote tranquillity and mental clarity.  This exercise helps you stay centred and balanced, making it easier to handle daily challenges with a calm mindset.

  • Breathing Focus: Use deep, deliberate breaths to mimic the flow and serenity of water.
  • Stress Dissipation: Imagine tension and stress dissolving into the water, creating ripples that gradually fade.
  • Emotional Anchoring: Embrace the sense of fluidity and stability that water represents, enhancing your ability to remain grounded.

7. Deep Breathing: Diaphragmatic Breathing

Breathing exercises are crucial for activating the body’s relaxation response. Deep breaths help reduce stress and anxiety by calming the nervous system and improving focus. Try the following methods:

  • Square Breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four, and pause for four seconds.
  • 4-7-8 Breathing:  Inhale for four seconds, hold for seven seconds and exhale for eight seconds.

woman walking in the forest breathing in fresh air representing grounding exercises

Tips for Effective Breathing Exercises

  • Focus: Concentrate on the rhythm of your breath.
  • Posture: Keep a relaxed but upright posture.
  • Environment: Practice in a safe space.
  • Consistency: Make breathing exercises a regular part of your daily routine to help effectively manage anxiety symptoms.

Tips for Consistency

Incorporate these grounding techniques into your daily routine or use them during high-stress moments. Consider setting reminders or establishing a grounding ritual to make these practices a regular part of your life.

Addressing Challenges

If you find it hard to focus on grounding exercises like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, start with fewer sensory items or practice in a quiet space. Adjust these exercises to suit your needs and create a safe space for practising.

To Conclude

Grounding techniques provide effective strategies for reconnecting with the present moment and achieving a sense of calm when managing stress and anxiety. Different approaches work for different people, so feel free to experiment with these methods to find what works best for you. Creating a diverse toolbox of grounding techniques can greatly enhance your ability to manage anxiety over time.

If you would like personalised guidance on managing anxiety and stress through counselling, grounding exercises and mindfulness practices, you can book a discovery call.

Reference for Further Reading:

Smith, J. (2020). The Role of Breathing in Stress Reduction. Journal of Mental Wellbeing, 15(3), 45-60.

Schedule Your Free Discovery Call

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