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Explore articles and insights on navigating life transitions, ADHD, and personal growth

Love and Neurodivergence: Understanding Relationships Through a Different Lens

Love and Neurodivergence: How ADHD, Anxiety, and Neurodivergent Traits Shape Connection

Love is something we all seek, but how we experience it can be deeply shaped by how our brains are wired. And love isn’t just about romance, it’s in our friendships, our families, the way we connect with others, and, most importantly, the way we love ourselves.

It can be helpful to pause and reflect on how we give and receive love, especially for those of us who think and feel differently.

For people who are neurodivergent, love can feel intense, overwhelming, exhilarating, or even uncertain. ADHD, anxiety, and other neurodivergent traits bring unique challenges and strengths when it comes to connection. So, what does love really feel like when your brain works differently?

Love Through a Neurodivergent Lens

Neurodivergent brains often experience emotions in a heightened way. Love isn’t just a feeling, it can be a full-body experience, a hyperfocus, or even a source of deep anxiety. Some common experiences include:

  • Deep Emotional Intensity – Many people who are neurodivergent feel love in extremes. It’s all or nothing. The highs can feel euphoric, but the lows, like miscommunication or perceived rejection, can feel unbearable.
  • Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD) – A delayed text, a change in tone, or an unexpected shift in plans can trigger a deep fear of being unwanted or unworthy. This can make relationships feel fragile, even when they’re not.
  • Hyperfocus on Love – When you have ADHD, falling in love can feel all-consuming. Your brain locks onto the person, replaying conversations, analysing every interaction, and wanting to be around them all the time. Heard of love-bombing? It can feel like that to that recipient at times. It’s not just excitement, it can feel like a deep, urgent focus that’s hard to shift.
  • Difficulty regulating emotions – For many people who are neurodivergent, emotions don’t come in small doses. A minor disagreement can feel overwhelming, and it can be hard to pause before reacting. This can lead to impulsive words or actions in the heat of the moment, or the opposite, shutting down completely to avoid feeling too much at once.

These experiences can be overwhelming, but they also come with unique strengths.

People who are Neurodivergent  often love deeply, passionately, and with a level of authenticity that can be incredibly rare.  If you often find yourself caught in patterns of overthinking or struggling with self-doubt in relationships, small mindset shifts can help. Building self-confidence and breaking negative patterns can make a huge difference in how you experience love and connection.

Love Beyond Romance: Navigating Family and Friendships

Relationships with family and friends can be just as complex as romantic ones, often requiring deep understanding and patience on both sides. For people who are neurodivergent, love and connection might not always fit into traditional expectations. Communication differences, emotional intensity, and sensitivity to rejection can all influence how these relationships unfold.

Rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD) can sometimes lead to misinterpreting silence or changes in behaviour as personal rejection, when in fact they may not be. Understanding how these patterns develop can help create healthier, more secure connections.

If you’ve ever felt that friendships or family relationships are harder than they should be, it may help to explore how neurodivergence shapes your understanding of love, attachment, and connection. The more we understand ourselves, the easier it becomes to navigate relationships with clarity rather than self-doubt.

Three women walking together, laughing and enjoying each other's company, representing the importance of friendships and connection for those who are neurodivergent.

Love, Communication, and Understanding

The key to navigating relationships with a neurodivergent brain isn’t about changing who you are; it’s about understanding how your brain works and finding ways to communicate your needs with clarity and kindness.

Recognising Your Triggers
When rejection sensitivity or emotional intensity makes relationships feel difficult, it can help to pause and notice what’s happening beneath the surface. Understanding the situations that trigger strong reactions allows you to separate feelings from facts and respond with more self-compassion. With practice, this awareness can make space for calmer and more balanced connections.

Developing this awareness is only part of the process. The next step is learning how to soothe your nervous system when emotions feel heightened, so you can return to a sense of steadiness within yourself.

Self-Regulation Tools
Techniques such as deep breathing, grounding exercises, and ADHD-friendly routines can help manage emotional intensity. The calmer and more centred you feel, the easier relationships become.

Explaining Your Needs
Not everyone will instinctively understand how you process emotions or express love. Being open about what helps, whether that’s clear communication, reassurance, or simply time to process, can make a meaningful difference. When your needs are understood, relationships often feel safer, more supportive, and more connected.

A New Season, A New Approach to Love

At any stage in life, the way we experience relationships can evolve. Whether you’re exploring a new connection, healing from past experiences, or learning to build a kinder relationship with yourself, understanding how your brain works can be a powerful step forward.

You can experience love in a way that feels safe, fulfilling, and supportive, whether that’s in romantic relationships, friendships, or the connection you nurture with yourself.

If this resonates with you, you don’t have to navigate it alone. Through counselling and coaching, I can help you understand patterns, build healthier connections, and feel more confident in the way you relate to others.

If ADHD or neurodivergent traits play a part in your experience, you might also like to explore my ADHD-focused coaching and self-paced courses designed to help you move forward with clarity and self-understanding.

You’re welcome to get in touch or book a free discovery call, I’d love to support you.

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ADHD Coaching Tips for Workplace Success

ADHD Coaching Tips for Workplace Success

As an ADHD coach and counsellor, I’ve supported over 160 clients, many of whom have found the workplace challenging to navigate. Anxiety about going into work, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome are common struggles, whether ADHD is diagnosed or not. With my experience across both counselling and ADHD coaching, I’ve seen how the right strategies can make a significant difference to focus, confidence, and wellbeing at work.

Managing ADHD at work comes with unique challenges, but with tailored approaches and supportive techniques, it’s entirely possible to thrive.

In this blog, we’ll explore practical ways to navigate work life with greater ease and balance. Whether you’re struggling with organisation, time management, or workplace anxiety, these insights can help you feel more confident, capable, and in control.

When work feels manageable, everything else can start to improve, your motivation, confidence, and overall wellbeing.

ADHD at Work: Understanding the Challenges

If you have ADHD, you’re not alone in finding work challenging. Research shows that adults with ADHD often change jobs more frequently, experience career instability, or go through periods of unemployment.

This can stem from difficulties with time management, organisation, task completion, and maintaining focus. For example, you might struggle to meet deadlines because time gets away from you, or find it hard to keep your workspace organised.

On top of that, impulsivity, emotional ups and downs, and sensitivity to criticism can make things even harder. Even with valuable skills, many people with ADHD struggle to find workplaces that truly support their needs, leading to frustration and career setbacks.

But here’s the good news, these challenges don’t have to define your work life. With the right support and strategies, you can turn them into opportunities for growth and success.

Overcommitting and People-Pleasing in the Workplace

If you have ADHD, you might find yourself saying “yes” to too many tasks, eager to help or afraid of letting people down. This tendency to people-please can make you a valued team member, but it often comes at a cost, burnout, overwhelm, and reduced productivity.

Learning to set clear boundaries and prioritise tasks is key to managing this habit. By recognising your limits and focusing on what truly matters, you can create a more balanced and sustainable approach to work, without feeling guilty for saying no.  If you’d like to dive deeper into people-pleasing, check out my blog on the topic.

Work colleagues using laptops and collaborating in an ADHD-friendly workplace

How ADHD Traits Affect the Workplace

Some ADHD traits that might seem like harmless quirks at home can have a big impact in professional settings. Common challenges include:

  • Boredom: Losing interest in tasks or projects quickly, especially repetitive or unengaging work.
  • Distractions: Struggling to stay focused due to internal distractions (like daydreaming) or external ones (like office noise or conversations).
  • Forgetfulness: Finding it hard to remember tasks, deadlines, or responsibilities.
  • Hyperactivity: Feeling restless and struggling to stay still, which can be challenging in meetings or desk-based jobs.
  • Impulsiveness: Making quick decisions or comments without fully considering the consequences.
  • Difficulty with workplace interactions: Being overly blunt, interrupting conversations, or struggling with active listening.
  • Time management issues: Underestimating how long tasks will take or frequently missing deadlines.
  • Procrastination: Delaying tasks until the last minute, even when you know it’ll cause stress.
  • Sensory sensitivities: Being easily overwhelmed by noise, bright lights, or other environmental factors, making it harder to concentrate and stay comfortable.

Successfully Managing ADHD in the Workplace

Effectively managing ADHD at work often requires a mix of personal strategies and external support. One key step is open communication with your employer, discussing your needs can help you explore reasonable adjustments that make a real difference.

Many companies offer support, such as assistive technology, noise-cancelling headphones, or access to quiet workspaces. In the UK, the government-funded Access to Work programme can provide additional help, including specialist equipment, software, and ADHD coaching.

Practical Strategies for Managing ADHD in the Workplace

Focusing Tools:

  • Create checklists to keep tasks organised.
  • Minimise distractions by turning off notifications.
  • Schedule specific times for returning calls and emails.
  • Use sticky notes as quick reminders.
  • Allow extra time for task completion to reduce stress.
  • Take regular breaks to recharge and maintain focus.
  • Start your workday earlier to get a head start before distractions set in.

Time-Management Tips:

  • Set alerts for deadlines to stay on track.
  • Use timers to maintain focus and prevent time slipping away.
  • Break tasks down into smaller, manageable steps.
  • Rotate tasks to sustain interest and avoid boredom.
  • Find an accountability partner for support and motivation

Communication Strategies:

  • Practice active listening to stay engaged in conversations.
  • Ask for repetition if you need clarification.
  • Keep conversations concise to stay on topic.
  • Slow down speech to ensure effective participation.
  • Read body language to improve social interactions.

Centering Techniques:

  • Use relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation.
  • Identify triggers for impulsivity and develop strategies to manage them.
  • Track effective strategies so you can use them when needed.

Turning ADHD Traits into Workplace Strengths

ADHD isn’t just about challenges, it also brings valuable strengths to the workplace. Many individuals with ADHD are naturally creative thinkers, generating fresh ideas and solutions by looking beyond traditional approaches.

The ability to hyperfocus on engaging tasks allows for deep, high-quality work and innovative insights. In fast-paced environments, their quick thinking, adaptability, and problem-solving skills can be a real asset.

When supported with the right strategies, these strengths help create a dynamic, productive workplace where ADHD traits become advantages rather than obstacles.

Managing ADHD at Work: Next Steps

Many people with ADHD face challenges at work, but with the right support and strategies, it’s possible not only to manage these difficulties but to feel more confident and capable in your role. If you’re finding things difficult, it’s important to know that you don’t have to work it out on your own. The right guidance can make a meaningful difference.

As an ADHD coach and counsellor, I support adults to work with their ADHD in practical, realistic ways that fit everyday working life. This can include building structure, improving focus, managing overwhelm, and developing approaches that feel sustainable rather than forced.

If you would like to explore this further, you may find my ADHD coaching courses helpful. They offer structured, self-paced support focused on workplace challenges, motivation, and confidence, and can be used alongside other forms of support.

References:

APA (7th Edition)

Harrison, L., Wilson, M., Sargent, P. A., Haselgrove, M., & Lawrence, N. S. (2022). Evaluating the effectiveness of exposure therapy for vomiting phobia: A systematic review. BMC Psychiatry, 22, 609. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-022-04409-w

Student Success with ADHD: Daily Planning Tips for University Life

Student Success with ADHD: Daily Planning Tips for University Life

Navigating university life is an exciting milestone, but for students with ADHD, it can also be overwhelming. From managing coursework deadlines to balancing social life and self-care, structuring a routine that works for you is key.

A major study by Bristol University found that one in seven students has ADHD or autism, equating to around 14% of all students. The research also highlighted a strong link between ADHD and other neurodevelopmental conditions, such as dyslexia and dyspraxia, as well as mental health challenges like anxiety and depression.

So, how can students with ADHD thrive at university? One of the most effective strategies is creating an ADHD-friendly daily plan to improve focus, reduce overwhelm, and enhance academic success. Whether you’re newly diagnosed or have been navigating ADHD for years, this guide will provide practical strategies to help you stay organised and manage university life with confidence.

Structuring an ADHD-Friendly Schedule

Taking charge of your time management is one of the best ways to create a structured yet flexible daily routine that supports your academic and personal success. A well-planned schedule can help you prioritise tasks, reduce procrastination, and feel in control, all while allowing time for social activities and self-care.

At first, creating a routine might feel overwhelming. However, by developing an effective morning routine, using ADHD-friendly study strategies, and maintaining consistent sleep habits, you can significantly lower stress levels and set yourself up for success.

What is ADHD Paralysis?

ADHD paralysis, or task paralysis, occurs when you feel mentally ‘stuck’ and unable to begin or complete tasks—even when you know they are important. This can stem from overwhelm, perfectionism, or difficulty prioritising tasks.

Breaking free from ADHD paralysis involves:

✔ Breaking tasks into smaller steps

✔ Setting clear, realistic goals

✔ Using visual and digital organisational tools

✔ Incorporating rewards and self-motivation strategies

With the right techniques, you can regain momentum and tackle tasks with greater ease!

8 Daily Planning Tips for Students with ADHD

1. Find the Right Planner for You

Choose a planner that suits your ADHD-friendly workflow, whether that’s a digital calendar, a wall planner, whiteboard, or physical journal. There is no one-size-fits-all, so experiment until you find what works best!

If you struggle with consistency, view it as a work in progress rather than a failure. The key is to make your planner an enjoyable tool that supports your goals rather than feeling like a chore.

2. Schedule a Study Routine

Your study schedule should be anchored by non-negotiable commitments such as lectures and deadlines. Around these, schedule ‘negotiables’ such as study breaks, meals, and exercise to ensure a balanced approach to productivity and well-being.

Be flexible! If a particular study method isn’t working, adjust it until you find a structure that supports both focus and relaxation.

3. Establish a Sleep Routine

A consistent sleep schedule is essential for managing ADHD effectively. Sleep deprivation can make inattention, emotional dysregulation, and forgetfulness worse.

🔹 Try the ‘5-4-3-2-1’ method: When your alarm rings, challenge yourself to get out of bed before finishing your countdown.

🔹 Minimise screen time before bed to improve sleep quality.

🔹 Create a bedtime wind-down routine, such as listening to my free Sleep Meditation here, designed to help you relax and drift into deep, restorative sleep.

4. Organise Your Morning Routine

Your mornings set the tone for the day. Consider preparing your bag, outfit, and meals the night before to reduce stress in the morning.

Visualisation is also a powerful tool, take a few moments before bed to mentally ‘rehearse’ the next day’s plan, reinforcing structure and preparedness.

5. Maximise Your Productivity with Timers

ADHD brains often struggle with time blindness, making it difficult to estimate how long tasks will take.

✔ Use a timer to track how long your morning routine, study sessions, or commutes take.

✔ Keep an analogue clock or wall clock in your workspace instead of relying on your phone to avoid distractions.

✔ Set designated time slots for social media use to prevent unintentional procrastination.

6. Maintain Energy with Regular Meals

Nutrition plays a huge role in concentration and mood regulation. Plan meals ahead of time to avoid impulsive eating and ensure balanced intake of carbs, healthy fats, and proteins for sustained energy.

✔ Avoid sugary snacks that can lead to energy crashes.

✔ Stay hydrated throughout the day!

✔ Prepare healthy grab-and-go snacks such as nuts, yoghurt, or fruit.

7. Schedule Downtime & Self-Care

Your well-being is just as important as your academic success. Prioritise activities that relax and recharge you—whether that’s exercise, meditation, creative hobbies, or time with friends.

⏳ Balance social events with academic priorities by scheduling gatherings on lighter workload days.

💡 If you’re prone to ADHD paralysis, use small ‘reset’ activities, like taking a shower, listening to music, or going for a walk, to break the cycle and regain focus.

Group of students walking together discussing course notes

8. Practise Meditation for Focus & Calm

Meditation is an excellent tool for ADHD students, helping to improve emotional regulation, reduce stress, and enhance focus. Even just five minutes of mindfulness can strengthen concentration and clarity.

Final Thoughts: Creating a Routine That Works for You

Building an ADHD-friendly university routine isn’t about rigid perfection; it’s about finding what works best for you and allowing flexibility as you grow.

Here’s a quick success checklist:
✓ Flexibility: Adjust your routine as needed.
✓ Consistency: Small daily habits lead to long-term success.
✓ Accountability: Share your schedule with friends or housemates.
✓ Rewards: Celebrate small wins to keep yourself motivated.

For more personalised support, I also offer ADHD coaching and have a library of ADHD-informed courses that can help with challenges such as motivation, procrastination, overthinking and emotional overwhelm and

References:

FE News. (2023, September 12). One in seven university students report having ADHD or being autistic, new study reveals. FE News. Retrieved from https://www.fenews.co.uk/education/one-in-seven-university-students-report-having-adhd-or-being-autistic-new-study-reveals/

Access to Work: ADHD Strategy Coaching

Access To Work: ADHD Strategy Coaching

Living with ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) can present a unique set of challenges in the workplace. If you are diagnosed with ADHD or identify as having undiagnosed ADHD, you may experience difficulties with executive functioning, emotional regulation and impulse control. These ADHD traits can impact workplace productivity and overall job satisfaction.  However, as an ADHD Coach, I can provide the correct support to help you learn techniques and strategies tailored to your unique needs, enabling you to thrive in the workplace.

What is Access to Work?

Access to Work is a government-funded program in the UK designed to help people with neurodivergent conditions, physical disabilities, or mental health issues overcome work-related barriers. If you have ADHD, Access to Work can provide funding for equipment and services to help you in the workplace, such as individual ADHD Coaching, assistive technology and workplace adjustments.

How ADHD Coaching Can Help Through Access to Work

Access to Work provides financial support for ADHD coaching services ranging from 6 to 26 weeks. Your individual needs and circumstances determine the financial support needed, which can cover a significant portion of the coaching fees, making it more affordable and accessible.

Boosting Workplace Performance Through ADHD Coaching

Personalised Strategy Development

ADHD traits show up differently for everyone; therefore, ADHD coaching looks different for everyone. A professional ADHD coach will have carried out specific training around ADHD’s challenges and can introduce practical strategies to help you succeed in the workplace. ADHD Coaching is typically a goal-oriented process; with your coach, you can plan short-term and long-term goals you would like to focus on.  An ADHD Coach will also help with other areas of your life that you may be struggling with that affect workplace performance.  For example, you may have personal goals such as cooking healthy meals or keeping your home clean and tidy, as these factors can also impact workplace performance.

Enhanced Productivity and Focus:

Enhanced Productivity and Focus: Many individuals with ADHD have problems with executive functioning, which includes difficulties with time management, emotional regulation, task initiation, prioritisation, and planning andorganisation. Part of the ADHD Coaching process is introducing techniques and strategies to help with these challenges. Setting and achieving goals will boost your self-esteem, which can help in all areas of life.  Techniques frequently used by ADHD Coaches include cognitive behavioural therapy, mindfulness practices, and strategies that can help with executive functions, emotional regulation and impulse control.

Building Confidence and Resilience:

ADHD can lead to feelings of frustration, self-doubt, and imposter syndrome, particularly relating to workplace performance. ADHD coaching can help you build confidence and self-esteem by focusing on your strengths and achievements. Developing coping strategies and concentrating on your talents is the best way to improve your work performance and overall self-worth.

Improving Communication Skills:

Communicating effectively in the workplace is essential for workplace success. For individuals with ADHD, communicating with others can, at times, be challenging, particularly in high-stress situations or when faced with complex instructions. ADHD Coaching can help you develop new skills, such as communicating assertively, advocating for yourself, asking for help or clarification, improving your social skills, and managing impulsive tendencies during conversations.

Ongoing Support and Accountability:

ADHD Coaching is more than developing strategies; it provides ongoing support and accountability. Your coach will work with you to set goals, track your progress, adjust strategies as needed, and celebrate your successes. This regular support can be invaluable in helping you stay on track and continue to grow personally and professionally.

​Assistive Technology and Equipment:

Funding is available for various assistive technologies and equipment to aid concentration, organisation, and productivity. Examples include noise-cancelling headphones to block out distractions, screen readers to assist with reading and comprehension, and mind-mapping software to help with brainstorming and planning.

Travel and Transportation Support:

Access to Work can assist with transportation to and from work, alleviating challenges associated with commuting.

Mental Health Support:

The Access to Work program offers a range of mental health services to manage stress and anxiety associated with ADHD. These include counselling, therapy, and access to mental health resources and support groups.

Smiling woman in the workplace holding headphones

Who Can Apply for Access to Work Funding?

  • UK residents aged 16 and over
  • Engaged in full-time or part-time employment
  • About to start or return to jobs within the next 12 weeks
  • Self-employed

Do I Need a Formal Diagnosis to Apply for Access to Work Support?

You can still be eligible for support without a formal diagnosis. This flexibility ensures that people can access the help they need regardless of their diagnostic status.

This commitment to inclusivity guarantees that everyone, regardless of specific circumstances, is appreciated and integrated into a supportive community.

The program provides funding for ADHD Coaching and any necessary accommodation for you or your employer to ensure you can thrive. Access to Work offers grants of up to £66,000 annually. This financial support covers the costs of assistance tailored to your specific needs.

How to Apply for Access to Work Support

If you are employed, involving your employer and the HR team is beneficial when applying. They can contribute around 20% towards the funding and assist with the application process. Their support and involvement can make your application smoother and more successful.

If self-employed, you can apply directly through the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP) website without employer involvement. The application form is available online.

Applying for Access to Work is straightforward. In the application, you must describe how your condition presents challenges in your role. When completing the application, strive for transparency and thoroughness to ensure you receive the support you need.

How Many ADHD Coaching Sessions Do I Need?

There is no set number of sessions required. However, if you would like to set goals and have the coach’s support while you work through your specific goals, it is recommended that you have sessions regularly, whether weekly or fortnightly. When you notice that the techniques and strategies are helping you in the workplace, you may take longer periods of time between sessions.

Access to Work: Empowering Individuals with ADHD

The Access to Work scheme helps individuals with ADHD and other challenges thrive in their roles by providing practical support in the workplace. The initiative promotes a diverse and inclusive workforce where everyone has the opportunity to succeed.

As a counsellor and certified ADHD Coach, I support individuals through both the application process and their coaching journey. If you’d like to learn more about ADHD strategy coaching and how it can be funded through Access to Work, you can visit my sister site, The ADHD Coaching Room.

You’ll find detailed information about the Access to Work programme, ADHD coaching options, and self-paced tools designed to help you work with your brain and reach your professional goals.

Making Sense of ADHD Patterns

Making Sense of ADHD Patterns

Managing ADHD isn’t just about attention, impulsivity, or hyperactivity. For many adults, it’s about navigating the everyday mental load that comes with it. Things like struggling to focus, feeling overwhelmed by racing thoughts, or quietly carrying a lot of self-doubt can all be part of the picture.

ADHD often affects more than people realise, touching confidence, emotions, and how you experience daily life. Making sense of these patterns can be an important step towards understanding yourself with more clarity and compassion.

5 ADHD Patterns That Can Impact Daily Life

1. When Your Mind Feels Constantly Busy

If you have ADHD, you might recognise this busy, constantly active mind. Thoughts jump from one thing to another, making it hard to concentrate, make decisions, or properly switch off. Over time, this can feel exhausting and leave you feeling overwhelmed by everyday tasks or questioning yourself more than you’d like.

Sometimes, what helps isn’t trying to stop your thoughts, but learning how to pause and notice them with a bit more kindness. Creating even a small amount of mental space can make things feel clearer and calmer. For many people, this gentle awareness helps reduce the intensity of overthinking and supports a steadier, more manageable way of thinking over time.

2. Feeling like Your are Falling Short

If you’ve grown up with ADHD, you may have heard messages like “you’re not trying hard enough,” “you’re too disorganised,” or “this shouldn’t be so difficult for you.” Over time, those messages can quietly shape how you see yourself, leading to self-doubt, second-guessing, or a feeling that you’re somehow falling short.

Making sense of where these beliefs came from can be a powerful step. When you start to notice that many of these thoughts were learned rather than true, it becomes easier to relate to yourself with more compassion. For many people, this shift supports a steadier sense of confidence and a kinder inner voice when challenges show up.

3. Struggling with Sleep Patterns

If you have ADHD, sleep can often feel tricky. A busy or restless mind can make it hard to wind down at night, fall asleep, or stay asleep, especially after a day of lots of mental stimulation. You might find yourself exhausted but still wide awake, replaying the day or thinking about what’s coming next.

Over time, poor or broken sleep can start to affect how you feel during the day. It can make focus harder, emotions feel closer to the surface, and everyday tasks take more effort. For many people, gently noticing patterns around sleep, rather than trying to force rest, is a helpful place to start. Creating a calmer wind-down routine and understanding what helps your nervous system settle can gradually support a more restful relationship with sleep.

Woman sleeping peacefully in bed with a pillow

4. When Confidence Has Taken a Knock

With ADHD, confidence can take a hit over time, especially if you’ve spent years feeling misunderstood, criticised, or compared to others. Struggling with things like focus, organisation, or follow-through can slowly shape how you see yourself and what you believe you’re capable of, even when you’re trying your best.

Making sense of where that self-doubt comes from can be an important step. When you begin to notice how past experiences have influenced your confidence, it becomes easier to relate to yourself with more understanding rather than self-criticism. For many people, this shift supports a stronger sense of self-trust and a steadier confidence when navigating everyday challenges.

5. When Self-Doubt Creeps In

If you have ADHD, you might recognise that quiet but persistent self-doubt, even when things are going well. You may downplay your achievements, feel undeserving of success, or worry that at some point you’ll be “found out”. These feelings can linger despite evidence that you’re capable and doing your best.

Taking time to notice where these thoughts come from can be helpful. Often, they’re shaped by past experiences rather than present reality. When you begin to recognise these patterns for what they are, it can become easier to respond with less self-criticism and more balance. For many people, this awareness supports a steadier sense of confidence and a kinder relationship with their achievements.

Final Thoughts

Managing ADHD often involves more than learning practical strategies. For many adults, it also means making sense of long-standing patterns, emotional responses, and the beliefs that have developed over time. When these experiences are understood in context, it becomes easier to respond with more compassion rather than self-criticism.

Support does not have to be about changing who you are. For some people, it’s about creating space to reflect, building awareness, and finding approaches that feel supportive and realistic for everyday life. This might involve learning new ways to work with your focus and energy, strengthening self-trust, or developing strategies that feel more sustainable over time.

I work with adults who want support that feels thoughtful, flexible, and personalised. This can include one-to-one ADHD-informed support, as well as self-paced resources designed to help you better understand your ADHD and respond to it with more clarity and confidence.

If you’d like to explore this further, you can view my ADHD coaching programmes and self-study courses to learn more about the different ways I work.

How Therapy Can Help You Manage ADHD & Find Clarity

Adult ADHD: How Therapy Can Help You Find Clarity

Living with ADHD can feel like constantly juggling too many things at once, thoughts racing, unfinished tasks, and a sense of chaos that never quite settles. The distractions, impulsivity, and struggles with organisation can be overwhelming, making even simple daily routines feel like a challenge.

As a counsellor and ADHD coach, I’ve worked with many adults navigating ADHD related challenges. I understand how exhausting it can be when your mind feels like it never switches off.

Therapy doesn’t aim to ‘fix’ you, because you’re not broken, but it does provide tools, understanding, and strategies that can transform the chaos into clarity, helping you feel more in control of your life.

How ADHD Therapy Can Support You

1. Understanding ADHD and Embracing Self-Acceptance

One of the most powerful aspects of therapy is gaining a deeper understanding of how ADHD affects you. ADHD isn’t just about being forgetful or distracted, it’s about how your brain processes information. Recognising that your brain works differently, not incorrectly, can be a huge relief.

Through therapy, you can start to make sense of your unique strengths and challenges. You’ll learn that ADHD isn’t a personal failure but simply a different way of thinking. This shift in perspective can help release frustration and self-blame, paving the way for greater self-compassion and confidence.

2. Creating Personalised ADHD Strategies

ADHD coaching and therapy aren’t one-size-fits-all. Personalised strategies make such a difference in what works for someone else might not work for you. In therapy, we work together to develop techniques that suit your specific needs, such as:

  • Organisation & Time Management: Structuring your day in a way that works for your brain, using visual reminders, timers, and systems that reduce overwhelm.
  • Improving Focus & Attention: Mindfulness and cognitive techniques to help reduce distractions and increase sustained attention.
  • Managing Stress & Overwhelm: Practical coping strategies, relaxation exercises, and grounding techniques to help you stay calm and focused.

Having the right strategies in place can transform how you approach daily life, making things feel more manageable and less like a constant uphill struggle.

3. Managing Emotional Ups and Downs

ADHD isn’t just about focus, it also affects emotions. Many adults with ADHD experience intense emotions that feel impossible to control. Small frustrations can feel like major setbacks and moments of joy can be overwhelming, too.

Therapy provides tools to manage emotional highs and lows, helping you develop self-awareness and emotional regulation. Techniques like cognitive restructuring can help shift negative thought patterns, while mindfulness exercises can keep you grounded when emotions start to take over. Learning to manage your emotions can lead to stronger relationships, better decision-making, and an overall sense of calm.

Woman with a cloud above her head, representing the mental chaos of ADHD. Therapy and ADHD coaching can help manage these overwhelming thoughts.

4. Boosting Self-Esteem & Confidence

If you’ve been told throughout your life that you’re ‘too disorganised’ or ‘not trying hard enough,’ it’s no surprise if your confidence has taken a hit. Many adults with ADHD struggle with self-doubt, feeling like they’re always one step behind.

Therapy can help rebuild your self-esteem by focusing on your strengths rather than your challenges. You’ll start recognising the achievements you’ve overlooked, no matter how small. By setting achievable goals and celebrating progress, therapy helps you see that you’re capable of success, just like anyone else.

Breaking free from negative patterns plays a key role in building confidence. If self-doubt and old thought patterns are holding you back, you might find this blog on Building Self-Confidence and Breaking Negative Patterns helpful. It explores shifting your mindset and developing a stronger sense of self-worth.

5. Strengthening Relationships

ADHD can sometimes impact relationships, whether it’s forgetting important dates, struggling with communication, or feeling misunderstood. Therapy can help you navigate these challenges by improving communication skills and providing strategies to build stronger, healthier connections with loved ones, friends, and colleagues.

Understanding how ADHD affects your interactions can help you explain your needs more effectively and develop strategies for better communication. Stronger relationships create a stable support system, which is invaluable when managing ADHD.

6. Setting and Achieving Goals

Goal-setting can be tricky when you have ADHD. Big goals can feel overwhelming, and smaller steps can be easy to overlook. Therapy helps you break goals into manageable actions, create realistic plans, and track progress without the pressure of perfection.

Whether you want to improve your work performance, stay on top of daily tasks, or focus on personal development, therapy provides the structure, accountability, and encouragement to keep you moving forward.

7. Medication & Therapy: A Holistic Approach

For some adults with ADHD, medication can be helpful, but it’s not the only approach. Therapy provides practical skills and emotional support, helping you develop strategies tailored to your needs, whether or not you choose to use medication.

By focusing on self-awareness, coping techniques, and structured support, therapy empowers you to manage ADHD in a way that works for you.

Finding Clarity & Confidence with ADHD Therapy

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start, therapy could be the first step toward clarity and calm. Alongside counselling and ADHD Coaching I offer a range of self-guided courses to help with challenges suchs as overwhelm, procrastination, overthinking and more.

Schedule Your Free Discovery Call

Counselling, ADHD coaching, and self-paced ADHD courses to help you feel calmer, clearer, and more confident. Book a free 20-minute Zoom discovery call anywhere in the UK.

SCHEDULE A Free DISCOVERY CALL