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Explore articles and insights on navigating life transitions, ADHD, and personal growth

Why Do I Get So Angry? Anger Management Strategies That Work

Why Do I Get So Angry? Understanding and Managing Anger

Anger is a natural and universal emotion, but when it feels overwhelming or uncontrollable, it can take a toll on your well-being and relationships. If you find yourself wondering, “Why do I get so angry?” you’re not alone. Many people struggle with anger, but the good news is that it can be managed effectively.

What is Anger?

Anger is your body’s way of alerting you to a perceived threat, injustice, or frustration. It can be a useful signal that something needs attention, whether it’s a personal boundary being crossed or an ongoing stressor in your life.

When managed well, anger can help you set boundaries, advocate for yourself, and take action in challenging situations. It can even drive positive change, making you more resilient and motivated to stand up for your values. However, when anger spirals out of control, it can negatively impact your relationships, work, and mental health

Why Do I Feel So Angry?

Anger isn’t just about what’s happening in the moment. It can be influenced by a combination of personal experiences, neurological factors, and underlying emotions such as stress, anxiety, or frustration. Factors that may contribute to increased anger include:

  • Past experiences and learned behaviours
  • Neurodevelopmental conditions such as ADHD or autism
  • Chronic stress or unresolved trauma
  • Physical health issues or hormonal imbalances
  • Feeling unheard, disrespected, or powerless

Understanding your personal triggers is key to managing anger more effectively.

How Anger Affects the Body

When anger strikes, your body enters a heightened state of arousal, activating the ‘fight-or-flight’ response. This survival mechanism releases stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol, leading to physical symptoms such as:

  • Increased heart rate and blood pressure
  • Muscle tension and clenched fists
  • Sweating and flushed skin
  • Restlessness or difficulty concentrating
  • Difficulty sleeping

These responses are helpful in real emergencies, but when they occur frequently due to everyday frustrations, they can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and even long-term health issues.

Physical Exercise can help you to release anger, and it is good for your overall mental health.

How Do People Express Anger?

People express anger in different ways, often without realising it. Recognising your patterns can help you take control before anger escalates. Some common expressions of anger include:

Verbal Expressions

  • Raising your voice, shouting, or swearing
  • Using sarcasm or passive-aggressive comments
  • Blaming others or making accusations
  • Making threats or ultimatums

Non-verbal and Behavioural Expressions

  • Tense body language, clenched fists, or frowning
  • Withdrawing or refusing to communicate
  • Slamming doors, throwing objects, or physical aggression
  • Engaging in self-destructive behaviour, such as over-eating or substance use

The Impact Of Uncontrolled Anger

Unchecked anger can have serious consequences for your well-being and relationships. Over time, it may lead to:

  • Physical health issues such as high blood pressure and a weakened immune system
  • Mental health struggles including anxiety, depression, and low self-esteem
  • Relationship breakdowns due to conflict and poor communication
  • Workplace difficulties affecting job performance and professional reputation

How to Manage Anger Effectively

Learning to manage anger doesn’t mean suppressing it, it’s about expressing it in a way that is healthy and constructive. Here are some strategies that can help:

Identify Your Triggers

Start by recognising what situations or thoughts tend to trigger your anger. Are there recurring patterns? By identifying these triggers, you can begin to address them before they escalate.

Take a Step Back

When anger starts to build, step away from the situation if possible. A short break can help you calm down and respond more rationally.

Use Relaxation Techniques

Deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and visualisation can help reduce the intensity of anger. Before reacting, try taking slow, deep breaths and counting to ten. If you’d like more strategies, my blog on Grounding Techniques offers practical ways to stay calm and in control.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

Cognitive restructuring involves changing the way you interpret situations. Instead of thinking, “This is so unfair,” try shifting your perspective to, “I can handle this calmly and find a solution.”

Practice Effective Communication

Use “I” statements to express your feelings without blaming others. For example, instead of saying, “You never listen to me!” try, “I feel frustrated when I don’t feel heard.”

Engage in Physical Activity

Exercise is a great way to release built-up tension and lower stress hormones. Activities such as walking, running, or even hitting a punch bag can be effective outlets.

Find Healthy Outlets for Your Emotions

Creative outlets like writing, painting, or playing music can help you express your feelings in a non-destructive way.

Create an Anger Management Plan

Develop a personalised plan with coping strategies you can use when anger arises. Having a clear plan makes it easier to respond calmly in the moment.

When to Seek Professional Support

If anger is affecting your daily life, relationships, or overall well-being, professional support can make a difference. Counselling, coaching, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and hypnotherapy can provide tools to help you manage anger more effectively and improve emotional regulation.

As a therapist, I support clients in developing personalised anger management strategies to regain control over their emotions and build healthier relationships. If you’re ready to take the next step, visit my services page to learn more about how I can help.

Final Thoughts

Anger is a natural emotion, but how you handle it shapes your well-being. By understanding your triggers, using effective coping strategies, and seeking support when needed, you can turn anger from a destructive force into a tool for positive change.

If you’d like to explore support options for managing anger, get in touch to book a discovery call. Managing anger is possible, and you don’t have to do it alone.

How Therapy Can Help You Manage ADHD & Find Clarity

Adult ADHD: How Therapy Can Help You Find Clarity

Living with ADHD can feel like constantly juggling too many things at once, thoughts racing, unfinished tasks, and a sense of chaos that never quite settles. The distractions, impulsivity, and struggles with organisation can be overwhelming, making even simple daily routines feel like a challenge.

As a counsellor and ADHD coach, I’ve worked with many adults navigating ADHD related challenges. I understand how exhausting it can be when your mind feels like it never switches off.

Therapy doesn’t aim to ‘fix’ you, because you’re not broken, but it does provide tools, understanding, and strategies that can transform the chaos into clarity, helping you feel more in control of your life.

How ADHD Therapy Can Support You

1. Understanding ADHD and Embracing Self-Acceptance

One of the most powerful aspects of therapy is gaining a deeper understanding of how ADHD affects you. ADHD isn’t just about being forgetful or distracted, it’s about how your brain processes information. Recognising that your brain works differently, not incorrectly, can be a huge relief.

Through therapy, you can start to make sense of your unique strengths and challenges. You’ll learn that ADHD isn’t a personal failure but simply a different way of thinking. This shift in perspective can help release frustration and self-blame, paving the way for greater self-compassion and confidence.

2. Creating Personalised ADHD Strategies

ADHD coaching and therapy aren’t one-size-fits-all. Personalised strategies make such a difference in what works for someone else might not work for you. In therapy, we work together to develop techniques that suit your specific needs, such as:

  • Organisation & Time Management: Structuring your day in a way that works for your brain, using visual reminders, timers, and systems that reduce overwhelm.
  • Improving Focus & Attention: Mindfulness and cognitive techniques to help reduce distractions and increase sustained attention.
  • Managing Stress & Overwhelm: Practical coping strategies, relaxation exercises, and grounding techniques to help you stay calm and focused.

Having the right strategies in place can transform how you approach daily life, making things feel more manageable and less like a constant uphill struggle.

3. Managing Emotional Ups and Downs

ADHD isn’t just about focus, it also affects emotions. Many adults with ADHD experience intense emotions that feel impossible to control. Small frustrations can feel like major setbacks and moments of joy can be overwhelming, too.

Therapy provides tools to manage emotional highs and lows, helping you develop self-awareness and emotional regulation. Techniques like cognitive restructuring can help shift negative thought patterns, while mindfulness exercises can keep you grounded when emotions start to take over. Learning to manage your emotions can lead to stronger relationships, better decision-making, and an overall sense of calm.

Woman with a cloud above her head, representing the mental chaos of ADHD. Therapy and ADHD coaching can help manage these overwhelming thoughts.

4. Boosting Self-Esteem & Confidence

If you’ve been told throughout your life that you’re ‘too disorganised’ or ‘not trying hard enough,’ it’s no surprise if your confidence has taken a hit. Many adults with ADHD struggle with self-doubt, feeling like they’re always one step behind.

Therapy can help rebuild your self-esteem by focusing on your strengths rather than your challenges. You’ll start recognising the achievements you’ve overlooked, no matter how small. By setting achievable goals and celebrating progress, therapy helps you see that you’re capable of success, just like anyone else.

Breaking free from negative patterns plays a key role in building confidence. If self-doubt and old thought patterns are holding you back, you might find this blog on Building Self-Confidence and Breaking Negative Patterns helpful. It explores shifting your mindset and developing a stronger sense of self-worth.

5. Strengthening Relationships

ADHD can sometimes impact relationships, whether it’s forgetting important dates, struggling with communication, or feeling misunderstood. Therapy can help you navigate these challenges by improving communication skills and providing strategies to build stronger, healthier connections with loved ones, friends, and colleagues.

Understanding how ADHD affects your interactions can help you explain your needs more effectively and develop strategies for better communication. Stronger relationships create a stable support system, which is invaluable when managing ADHD.

6. Setting and Achieving Goals

Goal-setting can be tricky when you have ADHD. Big goals can feel overwhelming, and smaller steps can be easy to overlook. Therapy helps you break goals into manageable actions, create realistic plans, and track progress without the pressure of perfection.

Whether you want to improve your work performance, stay on top of daily tasks, or focus on personal development, therapy provides the structure, accountability, and encouragement to keep you moving forward.

7. Medication & Therapy: A Holistic Approach

For some adults with ADHD, medication can be helpful, but it’s not the only approach. Therapy provides practical skills and emotional support, helping you develop strategies tailored to your needs, whether or not you choose to use medication.

By focusing on self-awareness, coping techniques, and structured support, therapy empowers you to manage ADHD in a way that works for you.

Finding Clarity & Confidence with ADHD Therapy

If you’re feeling overwhelmed or unsure where to start, therapy could be the first step toward clarity and calm. Alongside counselling and ADHD Coaching I offer a range of self-guided courses to help with challenges suchs as overwhelm, procrastination, overthinking and more.

10 Powerful Journalling Tips to Boost Focus, Clarity, and Well-Being

10 Powerful Journalling Tips to Boost Focus, Clarity, and Well-Being

Imagine having a tool to help you clear your mind, eliminate stress and anxiety, and release your creativity in only a few minutes each day. Does this seem too good to be true? The good news is that this tool is available and only costs you time!

Daily journalling is a simple yet powerful activity that can improve your life more than you may realise. Research demonstrates journalling is a healthy way of increasing your emotional and mental health, communication skills, and personal growth. Learn more in this blog about the top 10 benefits of daily journalling and how it can help you.

1. Discover Peacefulness in A Busy World

Our daily life is usually bustling with demands, which can lead to issues such as overwhelm, sleep issues and mental and physical problems.  Keeping a journal not only has mental health benefits, but it also provides a sanctuary for your ideas, allowing you to lessen the chaos and restore mental clarity.

Writing down your thoughts, goals, and reflections can help you see things more clearly so you can focus on the essential things in life.‎ One of the many benefits of journalling is that it provides a space for positive self-talk, which can boost your confidence and increase your self-esteem.

2. Breathe Easier by Letting Go your Emotions 

Life can often throw us challenges, which can cause stress, anxiety, and emotional ups and downs. However, the simple act of journalling can help with many of these challenges. Writing in a journal offers a secure and judgment-free environment to express your thoughts and emotions and connect with your inner self.

3. Gain More Self-Awareness to Uncover Your True Self

Keeping a journal can provide a window into your thoughts, feelings, and behaviours. Journaling is a powerful tool for reflecting on past experiences; you may find trends that indicate more about your personality and what inspires you, aiding personal growth.

The first step towards achieving personal growth is creating a private space to be in the present moment. In addition to uncovering your true self, journalling improves your physical health, as demonstrated in a study by Karen A. Bailie and Kay Wilhelm.

cozy composition with mug, candles and a blanket representing grounding exercises

4. Enhance Your Emotional Well-Being with Each Page

Engaging in a habit as easy as writing down a few phrases can significantly enhance your mental well-being, which is part of the magic of journaling. Various studies demonstrate that keeping a journal of your thoughts and emotions can lessen the symptoms of major depressive disorder, sadness, overwhelm, and anxiety.

5. Release Your Creativity—There Are No Boundaries or Limits

You may believe that journalling is limited to writing. However, it’s also a space where your imagination can run wild by drawing, sketching, and brainstorming. Your creativity can flow onto the page when you write without limitations. Whether working on a project or exploring new ideas, journaling is an effective way to reach your full creative potential.

6. Resolve Issues Expertly

Have you ever found yourself needing help to solve a problem? If the answer is yes, consider putting it in writing. Writing in a journal lets you view your difficulties and emotional triggers from different perspectives. It’s a form of communicating with yourself when strategising, evaluating, and breaking down the problem into smaller, more manageable tasks. The answer may show up on the paper in front of you before you realise it.‎

Young woman journalling in bed with a notebook and pen, creating a relaxing writing environment

7. Set and Smash Goals  

We have ambitions and goals, but achieving those dreams requires a strategy. That’s the purpose of journalling. Outlining your objectives and the measures necessary to reach them can create a road map for success. Maintaining a journal allows you to stay motivated and accountable by allowing you to monitor your progress. ‎

For more information on goal-setting, you can check out my blog.  As Ryan R. Bailey highlights in his article, ‘Goal Setting and Action Planning for Health Behaviour Change,’ journaling can be a powerful tool for achieving health-related goals.

8. Improve Your Communication Skills and Emotional Intelligence

Words have power; the more you use them, the more familiar they will become. Maintaining a journal can help you improve your vocabulary and communication skills by allowing you to express yourself more confidently and clearly. Writing in a journal may enhance your ability to advocate for yourself, whether in a meeting, sending an email, or during a difficult conversation.

9. Improve Your Memory—One Blank Page at a Time

How often do you forget what happened during the day or what you have learned? We can all experience forgetfulness or brain fog from time to time, whether navigating the workplace, learning something new, or working through our daily to-do list.

Things can become more ingrained in your memory when you write them down. You’re keeping memories and improving your capacity to recall information when needed by routinely recording your experiences. Your journal becomes a gold mine of notes you may return to whenever you choose.‎

10. Heal and Grow More Thoroughly

Although obstacles in life can leave their mark, writing provides a therapeutic avenue to focus on yourself. Writing in a journal pushes you to go that bit deeper by identifying any barriers preventing you from moving forward. Journalling can be challenging if you are working through intrusive negative thoughts that are causing you to have challenging emotions such as shame or anger.

You can read more about managing shame in my blog.  If you are navigating your way around difficult situations. In that case, it is essential to remember you can reach out for support from trusted friends or family or professional help if you need extra help.

If you feel journalling can help you, the following steps are an excellent way to get started:

  • Establish a Habit: Decide on a time that works best for you, whether before bedtime or first thing in the morning.
  • Take Small Steps: It’s okay to miss a day; it doesn’t mean you should give up. Instead, pick up your pen again and get back to it whenever you are ready, even if you restart with a single line.
  • Be Honest: It’s your place to explore your inner world, so write from your heart, which can bring you many positive experiences.
  • Experiment with Different Formats: There are many types of journalling, such as bullet journalling, expressive writing, drawing images, and gratitude journalling.

Final Verdict: Your Journey Starts Today

Writing in a journal aids positive change, which can bring many benefits. You have a rare opportunity to develop a close relationship with yourself. Writing down your inner thoughts creates a safe space to explore your feelings, objectives, needs and preferences. Daily journalling is a simple yet powerful activity that can transform your life by improving communication skills and personal growth. Learn about the top 10 benefits of daily journalling and how it can help you reach your full potential.

Taking the first step towards journalling is could be the best thing you do today, for personal development, better health, and gaining a greater sense of self.  What are you waiting for, grab that paper and pen!

References:

Pennebaker, J. W., & Seagal, J. D. (1999). Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 5(1), 13-19. https://doi.org/10.1192/apt.5.1.13

Smyth, J. M., & Pennebaker, J. W. (2019). Exploring the links between expressive writing and well-being: What we know, what we don’t know, and what we need to know. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, 2047. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.02047

Top 5 Tips for Setting Goals and Achieving Them

Top 5 Tips for Setting Goals and Achieving Them

Research consistently shows that setting clear, structured goals increases your likelihood of success. When goals are broken down into manageable steps, progress becomes easier to track and maintain. Having a clear action plan provides direction, focus, and motivation, helping you stay on course even when challenges arise.

Goal setting isn’t just about achievement, it’s about taking ownership of your life and making meaningful progress. It’s easy to get distracted by daily demands, but setting personal goals, not just career or academic ones, can be equally important. Achieving a goal doesn’t just move you forward; it also boosts confidence, enhances self-esteem, and supports overall well-being.

No matter your age or stage of life, it’s never too late to start setting goals. Whether you’re focusing on personal growth, improving health, or making lifestyle changes, goal-setting frameworks like SMART goals can help you stay motivated and focused.

1. Setting the Foundation: Writing and Defining Your Goals

Writing down your long-term goals is the first step towards turning aspirations into reality. Reflect on what is truly important to you and where you envisage yourself in the future. It could be in one month or year, whatever works for you. Gaining a clear vision of your goal is an important part of the goal-setting process.

If you only have vague goals, a good strategy is to get creative, design a vision board, and find photos and quotes that grab your attention.  Visualising a specific goal can bring it to life and give you a clear vision of where you want to be in the future. Also, getting creative is fun and has many mental health benefits.

Remember, a goal doesn’t have to be something extreme, such as running a marathon or skydiving (although it can be if that’s what you want). Your personal goals can be anything that’s important to you, whether health or professional, or you want to focus on personal development goals.

Setting one goal can positively impact other areas of your life.  For instance, a personal development goal could be to boost your confidence and self-esteem. Increasing your confidence and self-esteem can open doors to new experiences, and you will learn to trust your decisions more. Personal development goals can be the best way to set the foundations for practical goal setting.  As you set new goals, discover how the role of reflection can support your progress in my blog.

2. Milestone Setting: Tracking Achievements

Once you have your big goal, the next step is to break it down into smaller goals and then break these smaller goals down into more manageable tasks.  A big goal can feel overwhelming if you imagine yourself standing at the bottom of a vast mountain; the top can seem so far off, and reaching the top can feel unachievable. However, climbing that mountain can feel doable when you break it down into manageable tasks.

A good idea is to set aside time to note down everything you need to do to complete a task. Putting pen to paper can give you a clearer understanding of what you must do to achieve that task and increase your chances of success.  It can often be the smaller tasks that are the most important steps, so getting these onto paper can be highly beneficial.

Keeping a to-do list can be an excellent way to keep you on track; you can then update it daily, marking off your achievements.  Your achievements are your driver to move forward, so it’s so important to celebrate them. When completing tasks, it can be helpful to identify any barriers you may come across and then do some problem-solving to decide how to overcome them. Balancing this with self-care is essential, as working towards your goals can be hard work. Reminding yourself of ‘why’ you want to reach your goal is another factor that will help drive you towards the finishing line.

man jumping through gap in cliffs signifying reaching your goals

3. Make Goal-Setting Achievable

I advocate for thinking big and not letting anything stand in your way, but it is also essential to set realistic goals. It’s about getting the balance right, as there are some things you need to consider when setting goals. For example, suppose the big goal is to climb Kilimanjaro. In that case, there is a lot to consider, such as physical fitness, mental well-being, the possibility of altitude sickness, booking vaccines, and available finances.

The next step towards positive goal setting is devising an action plan. To do this, write down the different factors you need to consider. Then, note the actionable steps it will take to complete each factor. You could work on them individually, or you might work on some simultaneously.

Pushing yourself out of your comfort zone when setting goals is positive, as ambitious goals are great for personal growth. However, you also want to avoid getting overwhelmed. So, think big, but also consider your capabilities and the available resources before setting goals, tasks, and time scales.

4. Set Timeframes: Assign Deadlines to Create a Sense of Urgency

Time scales and deadlines are essential to goal setting as they keep you on track, make you accountable, and can prevent procrastination and perfectionism.  You can gauge your progress by setting target dates for each task, including the small goals. There can be room for movement with this; it can be challenging to know how long a particular task will take, as it can depend on your current situation, such as external factors.

However, having an estimated timescale can keep you motivated as you know that each minute you work on the task brings you closer to reaching the end goal. For greater goal-setting success, you must clearly understand what you must do to achieve the big goal. You can then break this down into daily tasks.

man with arms outstretched enjoying freedom representing reaching goals

5. Seek Accountability and Be Resourceful

Keeping yourself accountable is another crucial part of goal setting. It can be easy to get off track, as other exciting things might appear while you work on a task. If this happens, note down whatever distracted you and spend time on it when you have a planned timeout. Some great online accountability trackers can help with motivation and organisation and keep you accountable.

Sharing your goal with a family member or trusted friend can help keep you accountable. However, if you prefer not to share your goal-setting journey with others, try writing about it in your journal or checking if there are local groups or an online community of people with similar goals. Professional help is also available if you would like a counsellor or coach to help you on your goal-setting journey. You can check out my services page for more information.

Checking your progress regularly is a great way to ensure you’re on the right track. It’s important to remember to celebrate your achievements, even if you feel they’re small steps. After all, small steps can lead to big changes. Having a list of tasks can feel daunting, so take time to look back at what you have achieved with pride.

SMART Goals

SMART goals are a structured approach to goal setting often used by professional coaches. It is also a technique you can implement if you are self-coaching.  The SMART Goal acronym is Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound.  Let’s break down SMART Goals and what they mean.

  • Specific: Set the goal that you want to accomplish
  • Measurable: Plan how you are going to track your success
  • Achievable: Check your goal is realistic
  • Relevant: Ensure there are beneficial outcomes
  • Time-bound: Create a deadline and prioritise tasks

Following the SMART goal criteria will ensure you clearly understand your goals and confirm they are within reach.

note book with handwritten smart goals open on a table with glasses and sticky notes.

Empowering Yourself Through Self-Coaching

If you are self-coaching rather than working with a professional coach, a great tip is to follow the SMART goals model to keep on track. Reaching your goals can be a transformative journey that can foster growth and resilience.

When you achieve your goals, you prove to yourself that anything is possible when you fully invest in the process. Reaching your goals highlights the power we hold within ourselves.

What to Take into Consideration When Self-Coaching:

  • Understanding Motivation: Intrinsic vs. Extrinsic Motivation

What drives you to achieve your goals? Are you motivated by internal satisfaction (intrinsic motivation) or external rewards (extrinsic motivation)? Understanding what fuels your ambitions can help you tailor your approach and stay committed to long-term success.

  • Overcoming Obstacles: Handling Setbacks and Failures

Resilience is key to goal setting. Challenges, setbacks, or feelings of failure are part of the process. Having strategies in place to navigate obstacles can help you stay focused and continue moving forward, even when progress feels slow.

  • The Importance of Mindset: How a Growth Mindset Supports Goal Achievement

A growth mindset is essential for success. If you believe you can’t reach your goals, you’re far less likely to achieve them. Self-belief and self-esteem play a crucial role in progress—working on these areas can make goal-setting more effective and fulfilling.

  • The Role of Reflection: Reviewing and Revising Goals

Your goals may evolve over time, and that’s okay. Regularly reviewing and adjusting your goals ensures they remain relevant to your life and aspirations. Life changes, new interests, or shifting priorities can impact your objectives, so checking in with yourself can keep you on the right track.

  • The Power of Visualisation and Affirmations

A clear mental image of your goal can reinforce your motivation and help you stay committed. Visualisation makes your goal feel real, helping you take inspired action, while affirmations strengthen positive beliefs and self-confidence.

  • The Impact of Environment: Creating a Space for Success

Your surroundings influence your mindset and productivity. Having a dedicated space for planning or working toward your goals can improve focus. Similarly, surrounding yourself with supportive people or communities can provide encouragement and accountability.

  • Health and Wellbeing: The Foundation for Goal Achievement

There’s a strong connection between physical health, mental wellbeing, and goal success. Eating a nutritious diet, exercising regularly, and prioritising sleep can improve focus, energy levels, and resilience—making it easier to stay on track.

  • Leveraging Technology: Tools and Apps for Goal Tracking

Tracking progress keeps you motivated. Whether you prefer a journal or digital goal-tracking apps, these tools can boost accountability and help you celebrate milestones along the way.

  • Goal Setting for Different Life Stages

Goals naturally shift as you move through different life stages. What mattered in your student years may differ from your priorities as a parent or professional. Reassessing your goals ensures they align with your current circumstances and aspirations.

  • The Role of Emotional Intelligence in Goal Setting

Emotional awareness and self-regulation play a key role in goal achievement. Stress, motivation, and relationships can all impact your journey. Having tools to manage emotions effectively can help you stay resilient and focused.

Counselling and Coaching Approach

Counselling and coaching can work together to help you identify what truly matters to you and create goals that reflect your values and interests. Exploring your needs and preferences often brings clarity about what gives your life meaning, whether that’s creativity, connection, adventure, or balance.

Through this process, you can experiment with new ideas, develop self-awareness, and discover activities that bring a renewed sense of purpose. Using self-coaching tools alongside professional guidance helps strengthen confidence and motivation, allowing you to make steady progress toward your goals.

Ultimately, combining self-reflection with structured support can lead to lasting satisfaction and a greater sense of accomplishment, not just from reaching goals, but from recognising how far you’ve come.

If you prefer to explore these ideas at your own pace, I also offer a small collection of self-guided courses and recordings that support reflection, emotional awareness, and practical goal-setting.

To Conclude

Applying the above tips empowers you to take charge of your goal-setting journey as your coach or mentor.   Self-coaching can be highly beneficial. However, it’s also okay to reach out to a trusted friend or for professional help if you feel you would like that extra bit of support.

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety: How to Feel Calm & Present

Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

In today’s fast-paced world, we often urge ourselves to keep pushing forward during tough times. However, this can lead to stress and feelings of overwhelm, which may contribute to anxiety disorders. Grounding techniques offer a powerful method for managing these emotions by helping you reconnect with the present moment and your surroundings.

This blog examines effective ways to incorporate grounding exercises into your daily routine to alleviate stress and anxiety.

Understanding Grounding Techniques for Anxiety

Grounding techniques help you reconnect with your body, thoughts, and the environment around you, offering relief from panic attacks, anxious thoughts, and strong emotions.

Grounding techniques, inspired by practices like “earthing,” such as walking barefoot on natural surfaces, are designed to alleviate anxiety symptoms by soothing the nervous system. These exercises can significantly improve mental well-being and help you regain control over overwhelming feelings.

wpman walking bare foot on a muddy path in a forest representing grounding techniques

Top 7 Grounding Techniques to Try Today

1. 5-4-3-2-1 Technique

The 5-4-3-2-1 technique is a simple but effective way to bring you back to the present moment through sensory awareness. This technique is highly recommended if you are experiencing panic attacks or dealing with anxiety disorders.

Five Things You See: Name five things in your surroundings.

Four Things You Can Touch: Focus your attention on four objects you can physically touch.

Three Things You Hear: Identify three distinct sounds.

Two Things You Can Smell: Recognise two different scents.

One Thing You Like About Yourself: Reflect on one positive trait.

cozy composition with mug, candles and a blanket representing grounding exercises

2. Self-Sooth Box

Create a personalised box filled with comforting and calming items:

  • Affirmations or Quotes: Include positive affirmations or motivational quotes.
  • Photos or Mementoes: Add photos or items that remind you of positive memories.
  • Textured Items: Use soft or comforting textures like fur, leather, or stress-relief toys.
  • Aromatherapy Scents: Include essential oils or scented items that you find relaxing.
  • Snacks: Add something sweet to taste or your favourite snack.
  • Music: Include a playlist of feel-good music.
  • Activities: Add colouring books, puzzles, or mind games.

Customising your box with items that help you feel more at ease empowers you to create a self-soothe box that resonates with you, providing control over your anxiety management and a sense of empowerment.

3. Grab and Describe an Object

When you feel overwhelmed, grabbing and describing an object in detail can help anchor you to the present moment.  This technique redirects negative thoughts and promotes feelings of calm by engaging your mind with your immediate surroundings.

  • Focus on the shape, texture, and colour.
  • Consider the object’s purpose and any personal connection you have with it.

4. Play a Memory Game

Distract your mind from anxious thoughts by playing a memory game. Focusing on memories creates mental distance from negative feelings and helps your brain relax.  Recall things like:

  • Favourite Places: Think of cities or landmarks you’ve visited.
  • Categories: Challenge yourself to list items in specific categories like animals, colours, or foods.

5. Mantras and Positive Affirmations

Using mantras or positive affirmations can shift your mindset and combat anxious thoughts.

  • Create “I am” Statements: Develop affirmations like “I am calm” or “I am in control.”
  • Repeat: Use these statements during stressful moments to reinforce a sense of peace and empowerment.

6. The Water Technique

Visualise yourself as a calm body of water to promote tranquillity and mental clarity.  This exercise helps you stay centred and balanced, making it easier to handle daily challenges with a calm mindset.

  • Breathing Focus: Use deep, deliberate breaths to mimic the flow and serenity of water.
  • Stress Dissipation: Imagine tension and stress dissolving into the water, creating ripples that gradually fade.
  • Emotional Anchoring: Embrace the sense of fluidity and stability that water represents, enhancing your ability to remain grounded.

7. Deep Breathing: Diaphragmatic Breathing

Breathing exercises are crucial for activating the body’s relaxation response. Deep breaths help reduce stress and anxiety by calming the nervous system and improving focus. Try the following methods:

  • Square Breathing: Inhale for four seconds, hold for four, exhale for four, and pause for four seconds.
  • 4-7-8 Breathing:  Inhale for four seconds, hold for seven seconds and exhale for eight seconds.

woman walking in the forest breathing in fresh air representing grounding exercises

Tips for Effective Breathing Exercises

  • Focus: Concentrate on the rhythm of your breath.
  • Posture: Keep a relaxed but upright posture.
  • Environment: Practice in a safe space.
  • Consistency: Make breathing exercises a regular part of your daily routine to help effectively manage anxiety symptoms.

Tips for Consistency

Incorporate these grounding techniques into your daily routine or use them during high-stress moments. Consider setting reminders or establishing a grounding ritual to make these practices a regular part of your life.

Addressing Challenges

If you find it hard to focus on grounding exercises like the 5-4-3-2-1 technique, start with fewer sensory items or practice in a quiet space. Adjust these exercises to suit your needs and create a safe space for practising.

To Conclude

Grounding techniques provide effective strategies for reconnecting with the present moment and achieving a sense of calm when managing stress and anxiety. Different approaches work for different people, so feel free to experiment with these methods to find what works best for you. Creating a diverse toolbox of grounding techniques can greatly enhance your ability to manage anxiety over time.

If you would like personalised guidance on managing anxiety and stress through counselling, grounding exercises and mindfulness practices, you can book a discovery call.

Reference for Further Reading:

Smith, J. (2020). The Role of Breathing in Stress Reduction. Journal of Mental Wellbeing, 15(3), 45-60.

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